First of all, thank you for your kind thoughts and prayers yesterday. I'm happy to report that we heard back from our mechanic today and found out that it's not the engine. It's something that costs only $400 instead of $2000 - and I am VERY thankful for that. We will have our car back tomorrow afternoon, and I'm looking forward to being out and about again. For now, I'm watching the snow falling outside my office window, planning which DVD to work out with tonight (maybe step this time?) and thanking God for allowing us to have a bill that was 1/5 of what we thought it was going to be.
The other happy news, which is what I want to focus on today, is that I did not give in to the myriad of food cravings that wound their way through me yesterday due to the stress.
Every fast food commercial seemed to call my name. Chocolate, and a lot of it, was looking extremely appealing. In the old days I would have let myself give in to those cravings and dive into the grease, salt, and sugar.
Yesterday was different. After allowing myself a short time to cry and feel my emotions, I prayed - more than usual. I practiced my yoga poses, breathed in deeply, and stayed in control. I ate a normal, healthful dinner and drank a sugar free hot chocolate later on to put a halt to the candy cravings.
I think the key was allowing myself to feel the frustration and worry within reason. Giving myself permission to be human, realizing I'm not perfect or a machine, and knowing that it's normal to feel these things was important. And that goes for ALL of us, not just a select few. It's OK to feel those emotions, just not let them get the best of us. Which is where prayer and mindfulness come into play.
I believe God allowed me to feel upset about the possibility of an unimaginable repair bill. This way I learned to bring my broken self to him for help. My strength comes from God. None of us can "do" life on our own. With my prayers, He brought my mind to a place where I could resist unhealthy foods and use better methods to deal with the stress.
It's good to share your emotions with your true friends...God wants us to support and pray for each other on this sometimes crazy life journey. But we all must remember that God is the only One who can deal with all of our stuff. Our friends and family who care about us also have their own stuff to deal with. Their minds are on several things at once, just like ours are - so they can't give us COMPLETE support. Only God can do that.
As hard as yesterday was, God gave me a lesson I won't ever forget. And I'm 100 percent thankful to Him for it.