I feel like singing some Patti LaBelle, because I've got A New Attitude. This attitude adjustment has been taking place over time, but God has put some people and things in my path lately that are teaching me some valuable lessons. I am so thankful to Him for doing this, because it's helping me find peace in my life.
One of the most valuable lessons is...that I am valuable! Sure, I knew that already to an extent, but I was still always so hard on myself about things. Did I say something to upset someone? Why is this person mad at me? Did I do something wrong? I worked hard...why did I only lose half a pound this week? So many of these thoughts roamed through my mind that I was stressing myself out. No wonder I turned to food and binging for comfort. As much as I know I am a good person, I would still let my brain give me a beating. Then I would try to soothe myself from that beating with food.
I've had several epiphanies over the last couple of weeks, and they all come together to help me live my life in a better way. I've come to realize that sometimes we all say or do something that people just take the wrong way because of their own bad attitudes or because they happen to be having a rough day. That's not to say that there aren't things that we do need to apologize to others for sometimes...but I am not going to automatically assume that I'm the one at fault all the time. I must love myself enough to know that I am not going to apologize for being myself and living my life. It is not my fault that someone doesn't like it, that's their own issue to deal with. I can only do what's right for me...that's all any of us can do. Along with caring about other people, I also need to care about myself.
Another part of this new attitude is not obsessing over my weight. I am still exercising, eating well, and making new goals for myself...but I am wonderful just as I am. I was beautiful when I weighed 35 pounds more, and I will be beautiful at whatever size my body settles at. The key is trying to be healthy. Healthy is not a size or number. It is doing the right things to take care of the body that God gave you. God created all of us, and He doesn't make mistakes. He did not make us all the same height, size, race, etc. for a reason. Wouldn't the world be boring if we were all exactly the same?
This is helping me embrace all of who I am. I am worthy of doing all that I want to do in life, and it doesn't matter what the scale tells me. I will say that I did lose enough to get under 200 for real this time, but I am only going to post my weight on the first Monday of every month. The emphasis now is on living my life to the fullest every single day.
I am making another change to the title of this blog, and I will also be posting more about being active and looking our best at any size. We all need to live as we are right now, so we don't come to the end of our lives and find that all we did was obsess about our weight. There is so much more to life than that. We still need to take care of ourselves...but God has more planned for each of us than just getting to a certain weight!