Friday, March 23, 2012

My Own Personal March Madness

March Madness has new meaning for me.

I guess it started as February
Madness, with the new job I'd started in the middle of the month. At first things seemed to be going was a medical billing position with a lot to learn but I was picking up some of it quickly. I was also told that it takes more than two months to really get everything down, so I kept that in mind as I took on my tasks.

As March began, more pressure was put on me to know everything immediately. (Mind you - I'd only been on the job for two weeks at this point.) I was thrown into several tasks that I had not been trained for, and if I asked questions because I wanted to do it right I was met with anger for asking. But if I tried to do it on my own they got angry as well. Over and over, everytime I didn't do it right or asked a question, I was told that if I couldn't get this part of the job down then I wouldn't be able to stay on. (I was also misled as to my job description when I was hired, but I won't get into that now.) When I asked for help so I could learn it properly, I was told to just keep trying by myself and was refused help or additional training.

Needless to say, this all was bound to come to a head. And it did on this past Monday. I don't have the job anymore, and I'm looking for something else to help pay this bills. I believe this is actually a blessing, since the way I was treated gave me panic attacks and I almost threw up a few times at work. My thought is that they decided they didn't need the additional person in the billing department, but instead of telling me that they put pressure on me so I couldn't perform my job. You also can't perform the job if you are not trained properly. It's been a rough week, but I'm finally able to think about it this way...not every job is the right fit for every person. There are good days and rough days no matter where you work, but there are also times when you realize that something didn't work out because it was a bad fit.

I'm thankful for the month's worth of paychecks, and with that I move on. I've already been out and about putting in applications at several retail establishments. That kind of position is more "me", and I'll be able to balance my writing with this type of job. And I have an interview at one of them on Tuesday, so I would appreciate your prayers.

I know God will lead me to the right place, and He's taught me some very important lessons this past month. I appreciate the beautiful weather He provided this week, to go out and apply at other places and help me get back into my fitness routine. Being able to take long walks outside is helping me clear my head and think, along with working the tension out of my body. Plus my editing and revisions are moving along better without the anxiety and pressure playing repeatedly in my head.

I trust God. I have faith in Him. And I know He will provide so I'm operating now from a place of calmness. He doesn't want me to be anxious for anything, but to place my trust in Him. So I will make it through my March Madness and into peace and joy...and I will be a better person for the experience.

1 comment:

Honeybee said...

Faith is my favorite topic. When things going wrong it's difficult to stand strong, the Word of God is the only basis to stand firm in difficult situation. I love reading Kenneth E.Hagin's books. I learnt a lot from them. Nice reading your posting.