Thursday, July 9, 2009

Sugar Situation

I am an addict. Not in the way you usually hear about...alcohol, drugs, medications, gambling, etc. Still, I am an addict. I keep fighting it, and sometimes I do really well; other days it just pulls me back in and plays with my mind.

I am addicted to sugar. I realize I always have been, even when I was a little girl. Candy, cookies, and ice cream always soothed me when I was feeling sad. Happy occasions were always celebrated with dessert. My parents were really good about making sure I didn't overdo it, but what they didn't know was that when they weren't looking, I would sneak extra cookies or more ice cream.

It got to the point where I had to have something sweet, no matter what form this sugar took. I've been known to squeeze tubes of cake decorating icing onto my tongue when there were no conventionally sweet foods in the house. I ate containers of sprinkles or packets of sugar. I've even eaten Nestle Quik powder mix or Swiss Miss hot cocoa mix right out of the container when I needed that chocolate/sugar combination. I felt I needed the sweetness that badly.

As an adult, I still fight this sugar addiction. I haven't consumed icing out of the tube or cocoa powder in a very long time, but I still cannot get enough sweets. I know this is not good for me, and I also have to be careful because diabetes runs in my family. I feel so much better when I stay away from sugary foods or stick with just a tiny piece of something sweet, but I still have those days that get me. Yesterday I polished off half of a carton of ice cream, and my body felt awful afterward. I found myself today pulling out the jar of peanut butter and a spoon, but I forced myself to stop eating it after a few spoonfuls. This is a small victory, because normally I'd get halfway through the jar before I decided I'd had enough.

I've been doing so well, and it's really disappointing to me that I fell back into the sugar trap for a couple of days. I also know I'm not alone in this. So many of us are addicted to sugar, or food in general. In watching So You Think You Can Dance last night, I was really moved by the routine choreographed by Mia Michaels about addiction. One dancer was the addict, trying to escape her addiction. The other dancer was the addiction that kept pulling her back in for more. It really did represent any type of addiction and the feelings that you go through in dealing with it. This dance also came at the perfect time for me...right after I'd eaten myself sick with the ice cream.

I know with prayer and positive attitude I will conquer this. I will always have to watch out so I don't fall back into old habits, but I will defeat this addiction. I forgot to mention in my last post that I have changed my weigh-in day to Friday. That always worked best for me in the past, so I want to go back to it. We will see if my sugar relapse shows up on the scale in the morning. Whether it does or not, I have to get away from the sugar. I know many of you can relate, so please feel free to share your stories with me. Together we can work through it!


Anonymous said...

Yes, so many of us deal with growing up on sugar!!!

RebeckerOnline said...

I can relate! It's the cookies that get to me. I can down an entire pack with multiple glasses of milk in a day. And, it always gives me a headache. Why do we do these things to ourselves?

I've started, unofficially, cookies anonymous for myself as a reminder that I will never overcome it necessarily, but can at least try to keep it in check.

So, should we start sugar anonymous? (-:

Tomorrow is a new day!

WriterMarie said...

I think we should! :o)

Mesha said...

i like that you say "by prayer I will overcome this..." great source to look for escape. :) thankfully I've never had much of a sweet tooth, unfortunately it's been replaced by a carb craving though. Anything carb, rolls, bread, pastas, crusts...etc...that's my weakness and I've recently began denying myself carbs after mid afternoon. carbs sit with you too long anyways and I don't need them trying to be burnt as my metabolism is slowing in the evening.