Monday, October 11, 2010

WHY Do I STILL Think This...and Positive Remembrance

I've obviously been enlightened about positive body image, and realize that I am a wonderful person made in God's image no matter what I weigh. I also know that health is not a certain size, and I'm well on my way to being healthier. In fact, I already am because I no longer need to take blood pressure medication and I'm getting stronger every day.
So why do these thoughts still come to mind when a situation arises? I saw someone yesterday at my son's bowling tournament that I haven't seen in years. He was happy to see me and even gave me a big hug. After I finished talking to him, I walked down to my son's bowling lane and sat down. Then the thoughts began to pop into my head. The last time Mike saw me I was thin. I sure looked a lot better back then. I wonder what he thought when he saw me now?
Now, my friend never gave me anything to base this on. He didn't look me up and down, make any negative comments, or even seem shocked at my appearance. The whole exchange was quite positive. So why do I still automatically go there? I thought I'd gotten past this kind of thinking. At least I can say that I didn't think it until AFTER I spoke with him...I used to think it right away, and I'm sure the negative thoughts in my head always showed in my face. I'm happy to say that I've made some progress in this area!
On a whole different note...those of you who are regular readers of my blog know that this past Friday was 16 years ago that my mom passed away, and today would have been her 77th birthday. Friday was a rough day, but with some help from God and a little ladybug angel that my mom sent to me I got through it. One of the positive lessons that I did learn from Biggest Loser is not to eat your feelings, so I went for a walk instead and stayed on my healthy eating plan instead of going to Long John Silver's for fish and hushpuppies because my mom and I used to go there often together. I chose a different way to honor her, and I believe she would be proud.
I did lose one pound this week, when in the past I would have gained over this sad anniversary. I'm using my mom's birthday today as an official kickoff of Marie Needs To Get Her Butt In Gear. Yes, I've made a lot of improvements over the last year and a half...but I know I can still kick it up a few more notches. (Eat your heart out, Emeril!) Thanks to my friend Coleen on Twitter yesterday, I came up with exactly what I wanted to call this new phase. It's time to make my mom, and myself, even prouder!

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