Saturday, August 15, 2009

I'm A Lover...AND A Fighter!!!

This post is dedicated to the people I've had in my life who've done rotten things to me, especially in regards to my weight. I used to let you make me feel depressed and think badly of myself...and that usually led to binges (especially on sweets), giving up on exercise, and laying in bed for much longer than I should have. It made me feel self-conscious around not only you, but other people...because I thought they might be thinking the same things about me that you did. I didn't always enjoy myself to the fullest because of this.

Some of you didn't want to be seen with me, and a couple of you even went so far as to tell my husband that you would like him to join you at parties and events, but that he should leave me at home because it was embarrassing to be seen with me. I am so thankful that I have such a wonderful husband, who stopped even having contact with you because of the way you were treating me. At times others of you would just stare at me like I was a freak or make snide comments about me. I would try to ignore it when your kids made fun of me, thinking that they were still so young and learning about how to act toward people. The thing was - you would do it too, so you were teaching them that ridiculing another person is OK. That was what REALLY bothered me!
Just recently, a couple more of you have decided that it's permissible to make fun of my weight, or the weights of friends of mine who are not even overweight. If you think this is still junior high school and it makes you better than us, you are very sadly mistaken. It just shows that you never grew up.
Over the last few years, I have done a lot of praying and soul searching. God has brought so many awesome people into my life. He gave me the gift of those who show me that I am beautiful - inside and out - no matter what size jeans I wear, and I should live life to the fullest every moment and not let a number on the scale stop me. He also brought those of you helping me on my weight loss journey (whether you are from Operation Fat Blaster, Biggest Loser, Dance Your A** Off, or somewhere else) into my life to help me get healthy.
Of course I am eternally grateful for all of you who are such positive forces in my life...but I also want to thank those of you who did negative things. You thought you were going to bring me down for good, but I take what you've said or done and turn it into motivation. I feel like Christina Aguilera's song "Fighter" is my theme song, because you have made me work harder, be smarter and get stronger in all areas of my life. I take the negative and turn it into positive...I wish everyone would learn to do that. Thank you for the life lessons!!! xoxoxo


Marcelle said...

Wow what a blog has really touched me so much. I cant believe you have had to go through all that from others...others who think because they *thinner* makes them better.

I to walk with people who make fun of the *fatter one's* - I dated one who used to tell me he hated fat...and should I ever get fat it was a reason for him to leave me...I weighed 68kgs at one stage and he told me I put him off sexually, so guess how I felt about myelf when I reached 82kgs 4 years I was the fattest chick around...if 68 was fat then what was 82!!!!!!!!

Well I for one am here to support and send you positive vibes...losing weight can be done, but it will not change you as a will remain the person that you are, only a slimmer version.

So you keep your head up high and know *God makes NO junk*

Melissa Cunningham said...

GREAT post chica!! straight from the heart! and i am very proud of you for rising above the bad experiences! i know how hard it is to be ridiculed and made fun of,simply because of looks-

i was poor growing up,and never had nice clothes,i didnt know anything about hair or makeup and everyday at school i was made fun of an picked on-people are mean,and words hurt-after a while i started believeing that i really was an ugly,stupid person who could never "fit in" who could never be pretty,who could never be good enough.....but you know what? look at me now! it was hard finding myself again,it was hard to not listen to that inner voice telling me i wasnt good enough,and honestly,sometimes that little voice still posp up-but like you,i decided i was a FIGHTER...

i know it muust have been hell trying to get past everything everyone has ever done to you..but like you said-you ARE a fighter and im so glad you have made a negative into a positive!!!

im here to support you all the way chica!
hang tight,hang tough, and keep on keeping your head up!!!

105 pounds in 365 days said...

I love this post! While I am sorry you have had to deal with people like this, you obviously possess much strength and I am proud that you are able to dismiss them and get on with your life. You have surrounded yourself with people who love, support and inspire you - you are on the road to success!

You have raised a very valid, and perhaps very tender, point. I am sure all of us struggling with weight have had to deal with this at some point on some level... (I feel my own blog post on it coming on... lol)

But as the saying goes, the sweetest revenge is success!

WriterMarie said...

Thank you ladies! I just got to see all of your wonderful comments...I had to reload Windows because of a virus. I'm so glad this touched all of you and helped you, and your comments help make me even stronger!!! xoxoxoxo

Anonymous said...

How cool is THAT? Turning what could be a major downer into FUEL for your weight loss FIRE? Keep it up!

MochaTrina@Me So Hongry... said...

Well said!! I needed to read that right about now! So many people trying to lose weight can relate to that. I think all of us at some point during this journey all of us trying to lose need to write a post like that. Go girl!!!

Mesha said...

YOU.GO.GIRL!!! This is a good example of using the enemies own weapon to kill him. (David & Goliath). we can let their words & actions mold us, we can stoop to their level and lash out - OR we can be stronger and rise up above it - YOU ARE A FIGHTER! a mighty strong one @ that. keep it up, u'r doing great - forget all the childishness. :)

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