Monday, June 11, 2012
Extreme Makeover Weight Loss Edition - Jacqui's Singing a Brand New Song!
I have a confession to make...I REALLY, REALLY relate to Jacqui. In a way, she could be my long lost sister.
No, I didn't start out at 355 pounds like she did, but I still know the feelings that got her there very well. The feeling that you're letting people down because of your weight. Being so scared you quit on something when you've barely gotten started. Having setbacks earlier in your life that still haunt you well into adulthood. And being frustrated whenever you try to overcome all of this.
Now Jacqui was assaulted as a teenager, and thankfully that's something I cannot relate to. But I can see where that made her want to add layers of protection to her body. I did that myself as I grew up, being hurt over and over again by classmates and trying to eat away the pain - even though that only made it worse. Other than my parents, it seemed nobody believed in me or my dreams. I was shot down anytime I tried to stand up for myself. And when it came down to it, my parents wanted to protect their only child from being hurt, so they urged me to get a "real" job and forget about singing and songwriting. I know they were only trying to do their best to look out for me, but they projected a lot of fears onto me about doing the "secure" things in life to keep me "safe".
Now this path I've been on has led to many blessings, like meeting my husband and having my son. I did my best wherever I was. But something was always missing - something I tried to replace with food. At one point I lost all of the weight, but when my mom got sick and then passed away I ate away the pain again. And ever since then I've struggled...sometimes moving forward, sometimes taking a step backward.
So of course when I found out Jacqui was a singer who was too nervous to get on stage because of her weight I saw even more of myself in her. You HAVE to pursue what you really love in life - your passions: not the ones of your friends, relatives, or anyone else. It's taken me a long time to get to the point where that is what I'm doing. Trying to follow everyone else's "rules" only made me anxious and depressed...which made me eat lots of sugar and fast food for temporary relief. Until the point, that is, when I had to take charge, learning to balance family and personal repsonsibilities with pursuing my passions and pushing away the negativity.
Chris helped Jacqui overcome her fears - fitness and music wise. She lost 207 pounds. She is like a whole new person; the person she was always meant to be is finally coming out. And once she got started, there was no stopping her!
I know I still have my days when I struggle trying to balance it all and still have quite a bit of weight to lose...but I'm getting there. I'm writing songs, singing whenever I can and writing articles, along with the novels I hope to soon have published.
Nobody said it would be easy - but it will be worth it. And with a role model like Jacqui, there's no way I can go wrong!