Monday, February 18, 2013

Biggest Loser 14 - Red Lines, Trust, and Self-Sabotage

We should have known there would be a red line this week.

Oh, I know...last week's teaser showed that if the entire group lost a certain amount of weight, everyone would be safe for one more week.  But what they didn't tell us, until tonight, was that if they didn't lose enough, there would be a red line and the person below it would automatically go home.

No pressure, right?  Alison even gave the contestants chances to lower the amount - originally set at 70 pounds - through a pop challenge and a physical challenge.  The teen ambassadors took the pop challenge, so they could help the adults lessen their burden for the week.  They answered nutrition questions, getting 4 out of 5 correct to decrease the amount by 4 pounds.  Then they revisited the fitness tests they took the first week, and if they could beat their old numbers would help the adults even more.  The three kids split up the tests and blew their old numbers out of the water, lowering the weight loss amount by 5 more pounds.  And Sunny told us that when she gets stressed, she goes running...instead of eating like she used to do.  That's real progress!!!

So now the group had to lose only 61 pounds instead  of 70.  You would think that working together toward a common goal would bring about teamwork, wouldn't you?  WRONG!  Joe and Gina clashed; he antagonized her and she got upset.  Jillian challenged Alex on the treadmill and Alex kept stopping, saying she couldn't do it.  Jill then challenged Gina to prove to Alex that it could be done...and Gina did the same thing Alex did.  As Jillian wondered aloud what was wrong with everyone this week, Gina stormed off and went back to her room.  Bob, Dolvett, and Jillian got into a heated discussion about people taking the easy way out and not pushing themselves. 

Jillian went over to the house to talk to Alex, where she discovered that Alex has been hearing her whole life that she's not good enough (complaints that she "only" got an A instead of an A+, etc.) and hearing Jill tell her she wasn't doing enough set her off.  And when she hears she's not good enough, her thoughts turn to "Why should I even try at all?"  Bob had a similar talk with Gina, who is still having issues drowning out the negativity other people throw her way.

I know firsthand about Never Good Enough Syndrome.  It didn't come from my parents when I was growing up, because they always loved and supported me whether I got an A+, A, A-, or the occasional B+.  Never once did they chew me out for not being perfect.  But to other kids in junior high, I wasn't good enough - not pretty enough, not thin enough, not cool enough...and it ate away at my self-esteem.  Then in adulthood, I began to deal with some people who never thought I did enough.  I could work two jobs, clean the house, give time to help others...but if one day I had to rush out leaving a single coffee cup in the sink to wash when I got home from my second job I was being lazy and not doing enough.  (By the way, this attitude did NOT come from my husband...he was always appreciative and never critical.)  I started wondering why I was even bothering to ry so hard when I was still going to be criticized no matter what.  Over time those people weren't around anymore, but then a few others took their place.  When I'd have success, I was told I didn't go about it the "right" way so it didn't count.  Or if I didn't take up what was considered an "appropriate" career or occupation, I was a failure or letting everyone down.

I tell you this because I want you to realize how low self-esteem causes self-sabotage.  If you continually accept into your mind the garbage that other people tell you about yourself, you're going to be depressed and start thinking they're right.  And when you do start having some success, you do something to sabotage it - to fulfill what the others said about you.  This is what Gina and Alex are dealing with.  I've learned - and I'm still learning daily - that YOU CAN'T LET THE NEGATIVITY OF OTHERS AFFECT HOW YOU FEEL ABOUT YOURSELF.  Prove them wrong!!!  Show them just what you are made of...that they don't know who they're dealing with and are a force to be reckoned with, not doubted.  Realize that when they criticize you, it's more about themsleves than you...and go be awesome!

Back on the ranch, Alison gave the players another chance to lower the amount of weight they needed to lose in a treasure hunt of sorts, digging through sand dunes that led to a flag.  If they completed the course in time, which they did even with some not trying to help very much, they could knock another 10 pounds off.  So the final total for the group to lose was 51 pounds.  Still, the trainers were nervous because they knew that most of the contestants were having a bad week.

In an attempt to build trust among each other, there was a high wire challenge that paired two people together to hold each other up and walk the wire together.  Bob and Dolvett went first to show how it worked.  Jillian paired up with Alex and succeeded in building some trust between them.  Of course they put Joe and Gina together, who managed to do all right even though they didn't really seem to get the trust thing down.

The weigh-in was filled with tension, wondering if the group would reach their goal.  Gina managed to make Jillian's head hurt, Bob and Dolvett's jaws drop when she said she was going to stay positive on the scale.  Her emotions are like a roller coaster, so I don't blame them!  I hope she can break through the major roadblock in her mind to finally be her best self. 

Danni lost 7 pounds...but everyone else's numbers were low.  They weren't even close to reaching the 51 pound goal.  The red line came down to Jeff and Francelina (who are a couple) with Francelina going home.  She's really rockin' it at home though, and I predict that at finale she will be at her goal weight!

Next week looks to be just as emotional as the final six work toward reaching the finals...and have to face their worst fears!!!


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