Wednesday, October 5, 2011

Biggest Loser 12 - Get To The Heart

Last night, Biggest Loser got right to the heart of the matter...and they used football to do it.

This season some of the contestants started digging deeper earlier than usual. We're not that far into the episodes yet, but already getting into the core issues that players have covered up in layers of extra weight.

I can relate.

Dolvett noticed that Vinny was giving everything he had in the gym, and he couldn't help but wonder what got him into his current condition. They had a long conversation, in which Vinny revealed that his stepfather used to beat him constantly and without mercy. Not only that, Vinny wondered why his mom never stepped in to stop the abuse. He's having a hard time forgiving her because she is the one person who should have protected him.

For me this hits home - not because of my parents, who were always kind and loving, but due to cruel classmates. I did get kicked a few times, but most of it was mental abuse. I retreated further into my shell with every remark. I always wondered why the friends I did have didn't speak up. Occasionally I would stand up for myself, but never really became outgoing or confident around my peers. It's taken me years to move through this...and sometimes I still fight those feelings.

The other big moment for me was watching Antone work through his feelings being around all of the other NFL players and dealing with his emotions. I know the feeling well. Even though I was not a football player (obviously) I still had those glory days in a different form. After I got out of high school I lost 65 pounds and really allowed myself to shine. Ten years later my mom passed away and I started putting weight back on. Very often I run into people that knew me then - at my best - and I wonder what they think of me now. Just like Antone, I have to deal with those who are still at the top of their game while I'm working to up my own, back to top form.

The key for me is to remember where I've been, and know that not only can I do it again, but with God's help I can surpass that and be my true best. Sometimes we have to be broken, but when we are put back together we are stronger in the broken places and can help others with their journeys.

I will be watching what Vinny and Antone do next, cheering and praying for them all the way. We are all in this lifeboat together, and only those who really get to the heart will succeed.

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