An Open Letter to Valerie Harper

To all of my blog followers:

I don't usually write in letter format, but felt it necessary in this case.  I hope you find some inspiration in my words to Valerie!


Dear Valerie,

Let me start off by saying that I've been a fan since I was a little girl, loving Rhoda and you as much as my mom did.  We both anticipated Rhoda's big wedding episode, laughing and crying all the way through. Over the years you've always been a class act, and that definitely hasn't changed at all.

When I first heard you had cancer, I cried not only for you but for my mom as well.  She battled breast cancer for 12 years...and in a few days it will be 19 years since God called her home.  I still miss her all the time, and only wish she could have been around to watch Dancing With The Stars.

As you've fought and continue to fight this battle, your positive attitude and determination are an inspiration to me and countless others.  And when you decided to compete on this season of DWTS, I was thrilled for you.  There are some people who didn't understand why you would do the show (or thought you were being exploited) who said idiotic things.  But I get it - and so do a lot of people; there are many more that understand than don't.  For that I am grateful.

We all need to live our lives to the fullest, because we all will be called home someday.  Only God knows when that is for each of us.  He doesn't want us to sit around feeling sorry for ourselves about any challenges we face.  He wants us to LIVE while we are here!

My mom LOVED to dance.  She went dancing six nights a week when she was young, up until the time she married my dad.  They both still danced occasionally, but over time working and raising a family gave them less time for it, and often they only time they got the chance was at a family wedding.  Waltzes, polkas, jitterbug...my mom loved them all.  I also love dance, but never really had much time for it either.  So many things wind up taking time away from doing the things we truly want to do.

Every week on DWTS, I get to see you perform - not just learning and trying to remember all of the steps, but dancing for the PURE JOY of DANCING.  Not letting obstacles keep you from experiencing the joys of life.  Showing the world the wonderful woman you are, and teaching others how to live and enjoy each and every day.

I'm also glad you got the perfect partner for you.  Tristan is also a class act...a caring, compassionate person who can teach you the dances while helping you find the right balance so you can be your best while not injuring your knees further.  I'm as much in awe of you as he is, and watching the two of you interact brings every emotion to the surface.  It's truly a pleasure to witness your partnership - God put you together for a reason. 

Even though I am by nature normally a positive person, there are times I get a little down on myself...thinking that I should have things a lot more together than I do.  That I should be further ahead in my writing career and journey back to fitness, even though I am making progress with both.  Being impatient with my financial situation - even though that is also improving.

But then I think about you.  I'm sure you have your moments because you are human, but overall you stay positive.  You pick yourself up after a setback (like your knee) and press on.  You remember to find the joy in each day, no matter what.  You never stay down - you get up and get stronger.

Ever since I wrote for the former Ballroom Dance Channel website, my urge has only grown stronger to learn ballroom dancing...as much as I can.  My budget does not currently allow for lessons, but I'm staying positive that this will change soon.  In the meantime, I use videos, YouTube, etc., to learn what I can.  I NEED to dance.  Not just to learn the steps, but to experience the pure joy like you do.  To live out my passions.

So as you continue on your DWTS journey, know that I am extremely proud of you and honored to witness your experience.  I also know that my mom is smiling down on you, happy that you've found your way back to dancing again.  I pray that you have many more weeks, months, and years of dancing ahead of you - and thank you for sharing your heart and soul with us!

Love and Best Wishes,

Marie

So You Think You Can Dance - A Lesson in Overcoming

It's pretty amazing what the world of dance can teach us.

It is also remarkable when someone beats the odds, not only surviving a terrible situation, but learns to thrive in spite of it, inspiring others in the process.

Both of these came together perfectly on Tuesday evening during So You Think You Can Dance.  With it being the first week of All-Stars this season, I knew it would be a special show.  I just didn't realize how special until the final pair of the night took the stage.

When the All-Stars were announced, I was already psyched because my favorite dancer ever on the show, Robert Roldan, would be back after missing Season 9.  Why wasn't he an All-Star last season?  It definitely wasn't because he didn't want to be there or the producers didn't want him back - far from it.  They would gladly have had him there if he was able.

The reason was simple yet heartbreaking.  Robert had been in an accident - one where he almost lost his life.  The doctors told him that most people don't survive the situation he was in, and he was lucky to be alive.  On top of that, they informed him that he would never dance again.

Thankfully he is not like "most people".  Robert declared that God still had a plan for him, and he would work hard to get back on stage to dance again.  For just over a year, he has worked his way back through the injuries and pain to not only function on a daily basis, but to dance - and dance well. 

For his first time back on SYTYCD, Robert was paired with Tucker Knox, a contestant on this current season who has also survived a bad car accident, which at one point left him paralyzed.  Tucker also came back from a place where he was told he wouldn't even be able to walk again.  Travis Wall choreographed an incredible routine for them, which represented his relationship with his brother Danny, whom he helped out of a dark place.  The combination of these three men together was the perfect storm of talent and emotion.  God knew what He was doing putting them all together - at the right place and the right time.

All of them have LIVED this story in their own way.  I was in tears watching as both Robert and Tucker poured out their emotions in the dance, portraying everything they had been through in front of the world.  At the end of the routine, Robert ran to hug Tucker, and they embraced as only two people who had been through the same difficulties could, with total love and support.  At this point I completely lost it, because even though I haven't actually walked in their shoes I could FEEL what they did.  And that is the mark of a true artist.

I have friends who have gone through, or are currently going through, recovery from an accident.  I know that Robert (and Tucker) went through a lot of pain, both physical and emotional, on the journey to overcome the trauma and get back to fully living.  It's not easy to work through the various feelings that attack you as you recover, but you can't let those feelings keep you down.  You have to have the FAITH that God is with you on your journey and you will beat the odds.  That the negative words that others, even doctors, may say is not going to be your reality.

For myself, I need the lesson that was provided on Tuesday night as much as anyone else.  As much as I try to stay positive, from time to time anxiety, depression, and fear threaten to get the best of me.  I always fight it - because I'm not about to let the devil win.  God created me to be someone special, and I will fulfill his purpose for me.  And just when I'm having one of those really rough days, He sends me a message through these amazing dancers and beautiful human beings. 

God uses our gifts to bless others.  While He speaks through some of us through our words, He speaks through Robert and others, without words, through dance.  The blessings may come when you least expect them, but they are always right on time.

Robert is right.  God does have a plan for him - not just to dance again, but to speak through that talent to inspire others to have faith and courage to be their best and not settle out of fear.  He also has a plan for each of us, and I pray we all have the courage to live out those plans.  I also pray for Robert as he continues to recover - and thrive.

Most of all...I thank God for speaking to me through dance when I really needed it, pulling me from the darkness into the light.  He is ALWAYS on time!

Biggest Loser 13 Challenge - Much Needed Success!

I really needed this...thank you God!!!

After missing my weigh-in last Sunday due to being sick (partially stress, partially stomach bug) I was nervous about it this week. After all, it's been a rough one, which I posted about in my blog a couple of days ago. I wasn't sure what I'd see on the scale today.

Well, I saw a loss of 2.4 pounds! I allowed myself one Shamrock Shake on Monday night after the "I-knew-it-was-coming" fiasco earlier in the day, but other than that I ate healthy foods. Just because one thing went wrong, I wasn't going to let everything go wrong.

I also think it helped that I was able to walk a lot outside to help deal with the stress, instead of eating my stress. I prayed and thought things through on my walks...and I burned calories! Even though I still have stress from the situation, I'm making the most of every day and moving forward.

Which means I'll be back to Pilates and spin this week, stressed or not. At least the stomach bug part of things has calmed down so I can get stuff done. Also, since I don't need ginger ale for my stomach now I can drink even more water to clean out my system.

So I pray that this week will be much better, and I will do my part to make it so. I'm pulling the positives out of the situation (like my 2.4 pound loss) and working to improve in all areas. And I know - God will do His part because He is faithful!

Biggest Loser 13 - Would You Rather Switch or Fight?

Switch, fight...or both?

You know there can't be one without the other, at least not on Biggest Loser. Trouble is, I'm sick of all the fighting, backstabbing, throwing weigh-ins, and general nastiness this season. Of course everyone was mad at Daphne for switching up Conda and Jeremy, and Daphne was mad at the way she and her brother were treated. And the Black Team decided to sabotage their individual efforts beacuse a couple of people couldn't get along. I don't even want to think about those things anymore.

I'm going to focus on the positive of this switch. Conda and Jeremy learned a very important lesson from their trainers. When things happen that are out of your control or anything changes from the way you normally do it, you need to step up to the plate and do your best. Find a way to make it work for you. We all have challenges and need to remember this.

It so happens this lesson especially pertains to me this week. This past Thursday I started a new job. Since I don't have the flexibility my freelancing used to provide, I have to get used to and work around a new schedule - one that has me rearranging my sleeping, writing, and workouts to fit everything in. Thankfully I can still spin at the same time, and the studio is less than five minutes from work. I had to move Pilates from daytime to evening, and I'm trying to fit my other cardio in. I can't make it to the step classes I started in January, so I have to find what does work for me. Instead of stressing out about this, I'm actively pursuing ways to make it all work.

There are a couple of other good moments on this week's episode. Dolvett found a way to let Kim call her daughter on her birthday. Daphne went home and thrived, getting off some of her medications and moving into a new house. And I would be remiss if I didn't mention my fellow writer Cassandra, who read out of her old journal to Bob just how awful she felt about herself. Bob challenged her to speak to her former self, and she learned how important it is to speak positive and empowering words to yourself...and about yourself.

Those are the things I want to focus on this week - because all of that other drama and negativity makes me very sad. Let's all pull the positives from this week that we can, and hope next week is finally better in some way.

Biggest Loser 13 Challenge - Second Week Success!

Tonight is the 3rd episode of Biggest Loser Season 13, which means our 2nd week weigh-in results.

You know I've had a trying week (still having car issues, so please say a prayer) with working around not having transportation for some of the events and workouts and needing to work around that. Being that this is the season of NO EXCUSES and my year of ACTION, I was not about to let those kinds of things stop me anymore.

Well, this morning's results made me very happy. I lost 1.4 pounds in a week that in the past would have sent me straight to the refrigerator and the couch. I got a lot of writing and editing done, still exercised everyday, and kept away from the stress eating. So far for the #BL13Challenge I've lost 3.4 pounds.

Whenever you have a stressful day - or week - understand that it's OK to admit that you wish things were different. Then find a way to MAKE things better. Acknowledge your frustration, but then go work it out or brainstorm ways to improve your situation. Channel your pisstivity...as Dolvett would say!

How did you do this week? Drop me a line here or on Twitter at #BL13Challenge!!!

Happy New Year - My Chosen Word For 2012

We all know words are powerful. The right ones can build someone up, while the wrong ones can tear someone down. Some people use words to purposely hurt others, while all of us at times have used words to express something that another person has taken the wrong way or interpreted in a different way than we meant it.

I've recently learned to take the concept of words even further. (And for a writer that's really something!) I finished reading a book a few days ago by Debbie Macomber - not one of her many novels, but a non-fiction book called "Knit Together". In it Debbie talks about her faith and the lessons she's learned over the years, and encourages us to find our purpose and be who God created us to be.

One of the concepts she introduced was the idea of choosing a single word to focus on each year. She's been doing this for long time and it has enhanced her life and the lives of others every year. This concept intrigued me so I decided to choose a word for 2012. As Debbie says, God assists us in choosing the right word. There are so many words that it would be difficult to pick only one without asking God to lead us to the right word. Sometimes a word will come to us in prayer, or God will have the word show up over and over again in our daily lives to drive home the point.

After plenty of prayer, watching and listening for God's direction, I realized my word for 2012 is ACTION. I was led to the Bible to read John's prodding not to use only words, but to show love through our actions. The word showed up in just about everything I read or heard. And as soon as I decided upon this word, the next tune on the radio was the old Toby Keith song, "A Little Less Talk and a Lot More Action".

In thinking over my word, I also realized something else. I'm a philosopher by nature - which means I spend a lot of time thinking, musing, and writing. This is all good, but there have been times when I overthought things and didn't DO enough. I was afraid to actually follow through, so I kept THINKING about it instead of ACTING on it.

This word is God's way of telling me that although I still must think and pray about decisions, I need to move past the fear and put plans into ACTION. If He tells me to do something, then I should do it. It's amazing how excited I am about this year and focusing on the word God chose for me!

By the way, after reading this book I went to Debbie Macomber's website, where I discovered that she has a new book coming out on Tuesday, "One Perfect Word", in which she focuses entirely on this concept. So God once again uses his perfect timing to teach me an important lesson.

I hope you will join me in choosing a word to live by and focus on for 2012. I'd love to hear what word you choose as well! Happy New Year, and may 2012 be filled with blessings!

Channeling My "Pisstivity" - Thanks Dolvett!

You've just got to love it when a word clicks with you.

It's even better when this is a recently made up word. I've heard it a couple of times during this past season of Biggest Loser from new trainer Dolvett Quince, but it really hit home with me when the Thanksgiving special re-aired two nights ago. (Probably because someone had raised my pisstivity level...Ha ha)

"Pisstivity" is listed in the Urban Dictionary pertaining to the degree or level at which you are ticked off at someone or something. While I like that definition, I prefer to think of it another way.

To me, pisstivity is a state of being, in which you channel any frustration, anger, or other trying emotions into doing something positive. You don't sit around just being mad or letting things get to you. You do something constructive with your feelings and turn them into a blessing.

In Dolvett's case, he has his contestants and clients work out their pisstivity in the gym. I have discovered that this really does work. The first spin class after being in my recent upsetting situation was the best ride I'd ever had. Every workout since has gone to another level. I channel what was said to me about how I'd never reach my goals (in fitness AND in life) into extra motivation and pushing myself even harder. And I feel so much better afterward...in both body and spirit!

There are also other ways to channel your pisstivity. If someone tells you that you won't get anywhere with your chosen career, find ways to work harder or smarter and set better goals for yourself. There's nothing like having somebody tell you that you can't do something to motivate you to prove them wrong. (Of course, that shouldn't be your sole motivation - there are many reasons to work toward your goals!) If you're angry about the economy and you have the resources, do something to help others who are struggling, just like the people who paid off all of those layaway accounts this Christmas for families in a rough financial spot. Even if you can only afford to do a little bit, it still helps. If you feel for people with cancer or other illnesses, help raise money for a cure. Or take some time to read to sick children or do chores for someone who is unable because of illness.

Channel your emotions into doing something good for yourself or others. That's the highest form of pissitivity.

Pissed + Positivity = Pisstivity Thank you Dolvett!!!

Even In The Darkness, There Is Always Light

Dealing with human emotions, yet trying to stay positive and rising above... I'm sure you know where I'm going with this. You probably struggle with this as well.

If you read my "positive/not perfect" post last week, then you know I've been dealing with a problem relationship that I had to finally let go in order to save my sanity and be who God created me to be. In the meantime, I've lost a couple more friends - at least people I thought were my friends. I thought it might happen since these are people who've known the person I had trouble with for a lot longer than they've known me, and I'm sure their loyalties lie with her. Not only is that understandable, but I also know they're not getting the whole story by only hearing what she tells them. They haven't asked me about the situation so they are only hearing the side of their longtime friend...but I also don't want to drag them into what should be only between me and her. That's not fair to them to have to take sides. And even though it appears they've immediately taken her side, at least I didn't try to make them choose. I can be proud of the fact that I didn't drag other people into it. There may be more fallout to come, but I will stand strong.

Even though I understand what they did, it still stinks - and it still hurts. But one thing I do know is that this is out of my control. I'm not going to beg people for their friendship when it's obvious they didn't value the relationship in the first place. I'm better than that. Once again, this does not mean I'm perfect...far from it. But real friends forgive each other for the occasional bad day or saying something that didn't come across quite the way they meant it. I don't mean those who continally put you down or constantly treat you like you're an idiot for doing what's right for your life if it isn't exactly like their own lives. I'm talking about those who always try to be a real friend but when you occasionally slip up like human beings do, they still support you because they love you. People who claim to be our friends but attack or abandon us without first trying to understand or care are not the kind of friends we need. In fact, that is NOT real friendship - so as much as it hurts, be grateful for the blessings that did come out of the situation and move on.

This is what I've been trying to do for the last few days. This "friend" may think she ruined my holidays (or at least probably hoped she did), but it turns out to be the opposite. In discovering these surface friendships, I appreciate the real ones that much more. Spending time with family and true friends is even sweeter because I can see, hear, and feel the difference with complete clarity. Plus - seeing how NOT to act helps me in turn to be a better friend to others.

God gave me an important gift this Christmas. He gave me the opportunity to see what is real and what is not. He gave me the strength to stand up for myself and stop taking all of the digs and discouragement and move away from that negativity. And He gave me the ability to see what is important in both friendship and life. That can't be wrapped and placed under the tree. Besides, it's such an incredibly large and amazing gift that it can't be contained to a small space. It's the gift that will keep on giving...not only to me but to anyone I can pass it on to. God means for this gift to be shared. His light will permeate through any darkness you may encounter!

This holiday season, may you receive the gift of true friendship and unconditional love from the Father, Son and Holy Spirit - and may you spread that gift far and wide to make the world a better place.

Positive Does Not Mean Perfect - Food For Thought

I've had some rough situations happen in the last few days. I admit these things threw me for a loop for a little while...but I will not let them keep me down.

I won't go into great detail about these, because I don't like to complain to everyone or dwell on negative things. I prefer to move forward, pray, and do what I can to help the situation. But I do want to address one of these things because some of you may have the same problem.

I discovered that someone in my life (a supposed friend) expected me to be perfect. I guess I shouldn't have been that surprised. This person constantly complains and feels she is always right. She does have good qualities as well, so I always bit my tongue so as not to upset her. (Not always easy to do.) I always felt that I was walking around on eggshells to save our friendship...even though it caused me extra stress, I really tried.

The other day I gently tried to let her know that she should be thankful for what she does have and count the blessings in her life. It was an attempt to improve her frame of mind. I certainly thought I was being gentle, as I hate confrontation and avoid it if I can help it. Of course, she still took it the wrong way. I received a scathing message from her going into great detail about my many supposed faults (I do have faults, but this stuff was really exaggerating and petty) and how I'm basically an awful person because I don't do everything in my life exactly the way she does. (Wouldn't the world be boring if we all did everything alike? What works for one person may not be right for another.) I was also told that I was a "fake" because I claim to be a positive person yet dared to get a little upset with her. According to her, my positivity meant that I could never have a bad day or else I was fake. (Yet somehow it was OK for her to complain all the time.) And because of all that was "wrong" with me, she was going to have to seriously re-evaluate our friendship.

I now realize that she takes almost everything the wrong way, but at the time it really hurt. I attempted to defend myself, which only led to more bashing from her. I sent off one last message in attempt to clear things up, and apologized if she took what I'd said the wrong way because it was only meant to be helpful. I also let her know that I would not respond anymore if she kept attacking me, because I wasn't going to keep that unhealthy cycle going.

I received yet another message berating me, so I kept my word. I did not respond to her. I deleted all of the messages so I wouldn't have to stress out over it anymore. I also blocked her on social media sites, which is where she was attacking me. I knew it wasn't going to stop, because she can never let anything go. I do know her in real life but don't see her often.

The point of this is - do we expect each of our friends to be perfect? Or do we even expect ourselves to be perfect? We are all human, so none of us are going to be. There is only One who is perfect. And He is always here to help us through our imperfections. Trying to stay positive in this world is essential, or else we'd all lose our minds. Being positive doesn't mean we won't have our human moments or bad days...it means that we will not let the rotten stuff keep us down and we strive to make things better. It means if we fall, we pick ourselves back up instead of wallowing in self-pity. It's just like our fitness efforts: do not beat yourself up for not being perfect....just move on and work harder!

A lot of comtemplation and prayer took place before I wrote this post. I believe God wants me to help others in this type of situation so they know they are loved, should not take abuse from others, and should stand up for themselves if necessary. God always finds a way to send me a message - through a song, quote, or thoughtful post from others. Yesterday was no exception. Just at the moment I was feeling my lowest, I saw one message about pressing on and staying the course while keeping our integrity. Then a little later I saw one that really resonated...about using the irritations from others and in life to polish us and make us better people. I immediately felt better and knew I'd done the right thing.

I pray that my post here helps you in some way as well. God uses all of us to help each other. That means even the people who try discourage you or tear you down. Don't let them get to you or stop you from being who you are meant to be. Even though we're not perfect, picking ourselves up and staying as positive as possible goes a long way.

Changing My Attitude - To Gratitude!

Yesterday was a day that tried my patience. I usually try to stay positive about things that happen in my life, but this time was a little bit different.

As many of you know, I design and make jewelry and sell my creations at craft shows and on Etsy. Sometimes at shows I run a special, offering sale prices to the people supporting the organizations that put on the events. A few weeks ago, I ran one such special and had a pretty good day sale-wise. I know in this economy people are watching their pennies, so I decided to offer the same deal to the people at yesterday's show.

Of course, each show is different so I didn't put enormous expectations on myself. I did, however, have the thought that I would at least sell a couple of items.

The morning began slowly, as it usually does because people sleep in on Saturdays and don't arrive until mid-morning or later. I always try to take this in stride. My friend Debbie, who shared the table with me, sold a couple of her novels early on so I was happy that she was having a decent start.

As the day wore on, other people around us were making sales while we watched. Debbie sold a couple more books. By 2 PM, I began to resign myself to the fact that I had not yet sold anything and the possibility that might not change. I always keep up hope...but also try to stay realistic enough so I don't get upset if it's a bad show for me. The lady in charge of the show came around to see how we were doing. Debbie mentioned that she couldn't complain because she'd sold her minimum goal, and this lady said that everyone was telling her they were doing pretty well that day. I said nothing. I didn't want this woman to feel bad that someone at her show had sold nothing up to this point. Of course as I look back, my silence probably said it all.

Just before 3 PM, a couple of ladies came to our table who seemed promising. One of them talked with Debbie at length about her books, while the other picked out jewelry on my side. She kept complimenting me on my creations and picked out 4 bracelets. She had me hold them for her, telling me she would be back to get them.

The show was set to close at 4, and for a while I was excited that I would still have a decent day in sales. It's not unusual to have last minute sales, so I let myself get my hopes up. I saw these ladies stop at other tables and look things over for a while. But then suddenly neither Debbie or I could see them anywhere. It was as if they had disappeared into thin air.

We tried to stay positive. It was possible they went to the ladies room or ran into someone they knew in the hallway. Yet 4 o'clock came and went with no sign of them anywhere. They had already left...and this woman had bailed on me.

This is the point at which I got a little upset. Debbie was too, and agreed with me that it was very rude to ask someone to hold 4 items for them and never come back. A lot of people promise they'll be back but don't - but none of these people have actually had the nerve to make us hold anything aside especially for them. What if I'd left those bracelets in with the others? I could have possibly sold those designs to someone else and made something. Instead I wound up at zilch for the day.

I actually held myself together pretty well until I was driving home. I thought about my family asking me how I'd done, and started to cry when I realized I would have to tell them I didn't sell a darn thing. That what always gets me the most...I hate disappointing my husband and son and wind up feeling like a failure.

I also think that had those ladies not come along, I would have been better prepared for the day not ending well. I wouldn't have built up my hopes just to have them come crashing down.

When I got home my family was kind, but just as upset as I was about the woman sneaking out the door on me. Even if she had come back to my table and said she wouldn't be able to buy them I would have felt better, knowing that at least she had some class to let me know and not leave me hanging.

NOW...here is where the GRATITUDE comes in. After giving myself permission to be upset for a little while, I decided to end my pity party and make a list. There are always good things to be thankful for, even if you have to really think about them. Here is my Gratitude List for yesterday:

1. I got to spend the day with one of my best friends, which is always a plus.

2. The school had lowered the price of the tables, so Debbie and I each got $5.00 back. That's 5 bucks I didn't have before.

3. The school provided lunch for the vendors free of charge. Not all shows do this, and I am grateful that I didn't have to spend my own money on lunch.

4. I was able to meet and talk to a local book publisher at another table, which may be helpful in the near future when my novel is ready.

5. Seeing all of the other vendors' creations always gives me new ideas and boosts my own creativity.

By the time I finished writing this list, my spirits bean to lift and I felt much better. Yes, it was still rude what that lady did, but once I counted all of the other blessings I wasn't really thinking about her. I was thinking about the good things instead.

So it's time to move on from this experience and on to the next, while learning a lesson and brainstorming what I might be able to do better next time. Whenever you're having one of those days, I highly recommend making your own Gratitude List. You will definitely feel better!

Biggest Loser 12: Iron Chef, Ranch Style

Welcome to the latest episode of the Biggest Loser, where throwdowns occur on a regular basis in the gym, the house, the weigh-in room...and occasionally in the kitchen.

Of course we had all of the drama involving Jessica being sent home, Ramon being upset, and all of the players having to watch their backs before any knives got stuck into them. I have to say - I REALLY miss the camaraderie of last season, when the majority of the players really cared about each other and were more worried about each person than the gameplay. Yes, there will always be gameplay and moments of drama, but the Season 11 players seemed to find the perfect balance between the game and friendship. This is only another reason why it was so nice to see Olivia back for this episode!

So I will move into the positive aspects of the week. Olivia was back, along with Chef Devin Alexander, who writes the Biggest Loser cookbooks plus her own. She prides herself on decadent food without the fat, calories, and other unhealthy stuff - and she certainly does it well. From experience I can say that her recipes are to die for...except you won't die because the food is good for you. If you haven't checked out the Biggest Loser book series you should, and do yourself a favor and get some of Devin's own line of cookbooks. Your taste buds AND waistline will thank you!

Olivia and Devin were the judges of an Iron Chef style challenge on the ranch. Each team had to prepare a dish, with the help of their trainers, that was low in calories while being both delicious and filling. The two of them did not know who made each dish until after they decided the winner. The winning team got a one pound advantage at the weigh-in, along with a healthy lunch with Olivia...plus extra surprises. All three dishes looked like something I would make, but the team of D & O chose the Black team's slaw with pork medallions. It actually looks like something you could serve for a holiday lunch. So to the Black team goes the spoils...including their recipe featured in Devin's new Biggest Loser cookbook. (Yes, I've ordered mine forn Open Sky...so I'll definitely be trying out the recipe.)

Olivia's lunch with the Black team caused plenty of tears, both on the ranch and at my house. Those scrapbooks were amazing, made completely with love. And roses from Becky's husband? The icing on the cake. (As long as the cake is from a BL book!) Olivia also had a long talk with the players, in which I hope her positive spirit rubbed off on them. We could sure use it this season.

Another eye-opening moment came when Dr. H's colleague, Dr. Linden, showed us some brain science. Of course we all know that eating makes people happy...but the real kicker was how differently obese people's brains process food than slender folks. It's actually very helpful to know this, because then you can deal with the differences. Now we know why thin peeps are satisfied with less!

The elimination was drama filled as usual, but Joe looks incredible now so he is definitely putting the knowledge he learned on the show to good use. Next week the players go to singles, which will make it even more interesting. Hopefully nobody kills anyone this season! Also, I pray for more positive moments like those with Devin and Olivia...which is what this show should really be about.

Learning to Stand Strong

The last couple of weeks have been filled with powerful lessons for me. So powerful, in fact, that I feel 100 times stronger than I did in mid-October.

I've stood up for people (several, in fact) who do the right thing, and in turn I've been bashed. This has been by a small minority...it's just that those few have big mouths (or big keyboards). In the past, I was such a people-pleaser that even if one person disagreed with me it would bother me, and for much longer than I should have let it. I had this thing about people liking me. Now, that's not to say I don't still want people to like me, but I realize not every single person on earth is going to agree with me or want to be my friend. And that's perfectly OK. It doesn't mean I'm a bad person if someone has a different opinion. I just agree to disagree and move on.

I got hit with several instances of this in the past two weeks, and I did have some moments where I overthought it. Of course, I prayed about it. In no uncertain terms, God told me I was doing the right thing and to not let any negativity bother me. I've also learned that working it out in the gym (instead of torturing my mind) feels awesome and makes me stronger in more ways than one. God does not want me to fold like a cheap tent when criticized - He wants me to pull whatever decent advice I can from it, and stand strong in my beliefs.

So with that in mind, I ask that we please all respect each other even if we don't agree. I have no problem if someone doesn't share the same thoughts as I do; the world would sure be boring if we all agreed all the time. I've only had one instance of nastiness happen on this blog, with the others coming in other forms. If you have a differing opinion, think before you say or write it...post something intelligent that makes sense and isn't just attacking me or someone I speak or write about. We all deserve respect.

Also, I do know that no matter how nicely I ask this, there are some people who just can't handle offering their thoughts without telling someone else how stupid they are or attacking. I feel sorry for those people, but I will not let them get to me. I suggest that all of my friends do the same - take eveything said to you with a grain of salt and don't let it break your spirit.

Oh, and if you leave a scathing remark and sign it Anonymous...I get a good laugh because you are too afraid to voice your anger without being real. I delete nasty, negative comments posted this way, because if you can't even put a name to it you don't really deserve a response.

So here's to agreeing and disagreeing - respectfully! :o)

Little By Little...

And bit by bit, we are made over into His image. It doesn't happen overnight, even though as impatient humans we would like it to be that way. Sometimes it happens in bigger doses than others, and sometimes we have major breakthroughs that hit us immediately. But at other times, it doesn't seem like much is going on. These are the times when more is happening than we even know...but God knows.

Today is one of those days when I have to remind myself of this. I got on the scale this morning to find a whopping loss of .2 pounds. That's right, there is a decimal point before that 2. There are weeks I lose 2 or 3 pounds, or even at least a pound or something close to it. This was not one of those weeks. Now, I also remind myself that my "monthly gift" is here, and that gift always weighs a little bit more than I think it's going to. I think about the great week I had in terms of getting more done, having more energy and squeezing in extra exercise. I had one splurge when I had dinner with my old high school friends...I ate a healthy dinner, but treated myself to dessert. We had such a wonderful time together and I am thankful that we were all able to spend an evening catching up...that in itself is completely priceless. The rest of the week I ate pretty healthy, so that was the only splurge.

Still...I am also grateful that I lost SOMETHING this week! The scale still moved in the direction I want it to go. Waiting on God's timing means that He is in control...and he is strengthening me in body, mind, and spirit even when it doesn't show on the scale. Sometimes when he sculpts me into His image, he takes away big chunks and smooths over whole sections at a time. Then there are times like now, when He chips away a little here and there, fine-tuning certain aspects of me that need that the attention to detail that only He can give. He wants me to be just right, and He knows what it takes to get me there.

So I move on to another week and more chances to be braver, stronger, and healthier. No matter what, I know God has my back. He has a lot in store for me and I can't wait to see what's next!

Gratitude Is Everything!

I'm sure you've heard the saying, "Attitude is everything". I want to add my own...GRATITUDE is everything.

Gratitude is truly a part of our attitudes, and can help us live better lives. Appreciating what we have makes us happier, and the happier we are the more we will find to be grateful for. It's one of those Catch-22's, but in a good way. This is once cycle that is NOT vicious...and one I actually want to stay in!

My dad got his test results back yesterday. They showed that the growth was cancer, but just superficial. It was non-invasive and they got it all, so he doesn't need any other treatments other than to be checked again in 3 months and regularly after that. Dad told me that he prayed a lot, thanking God for giving him a warning symptom so early on that it was caught before it got any worse. He considers this a wake-up call from Him to take better care of himself. I am also grateful to God for the results. While it would have been nice to hear that it wasn't cancer, for it being cancer this was the best possible scenario and makes me appreciate my dad even more. God works in mysterious ways and for that I praise Him.

I'm also learning ways to relieve stress by being grateful. Sometimes my internet provider runs really slow, and I used to just stew in front of the computer waiting for it to do what it was supposed to. This only stressed me out more. Now I get up and walk away from the computer when this happens...I run up and down the stairs a few times or do some other exercises. I say a prayer of thanks to God for giving me the chance (and reminder) to get up and move instead of just sitting there and letting my muscles get stiff. When I'm having a rough day, more often than not I stop and think about any good things that happened that day to calm myself down. I'm human and still have my moments, but I'm getting so much better at remembering to be thankful for what I have.

I hope you will join me in developing an Attitude of Gratitude. It glorifies God and makes us happier as well. What a wonderful gift to use in this world! Even on the worst of days, there is always something to be grateful for...so give thanks!

WHY Do I STILL Think This...and Positive Remembrance

I've obviously been enlightened about positive body image, and realize that I am a wonderful person made in God's image no matter what I weigh. I also know that health is not a certain size, and I'm well on my way to being healthier. In fact, I already am because I no longer need to take blood pressure medication and I'm getting stronger every day.

So why do these thoughts still come to mind when a situation arises? I saw someone yesterday at my son's bowling tournament that I haven't seen in years. He was happy to see me and even gave me a big hug. After I finished talking to him, I walked down to my son's bowling lane and sat down. Then the thoughts began to pop into my head. The last time Mike saw me I was thin. I sure looked a lot better back then. I wonder what he thought when he saw me now?

Now, my friend never gave me anything to base this on. He didn't look me up and down, make any negative comments, or even seem shocked at my appearance. The whole exchange was quite positive. So why do I still automatically go there? I thought I'd gotten past this kind of thinking. At least I can say that I didn't think it until AFTER I spoke with him...I used to think it right away, and I'm sure the negative thoughts in my head always showed in my face. I'm happy to say that I've made some progress in this area!

On a whole different note...those of you who are regular readers of my blog know that this past Friday was 16 years ago that my mom passed away, and today would have been her 77th birthday. Friday was a rough day, but with some help from God and a little ladybug angel that my mom sent to me I got through it. One of the positive lessons that I did learn from Biggest Loser is not to eat your feelings, so I went for a walk instead and stayed on my healthy eating plan instead of going to Long John Silver's for fish and hushpuppies because my mom and I used to go there often together. I chose a different way to honor her, and I believe she would be proud.

I did lose one pound this week, when in the past I would have gained over this sad anniversary. I'm using my mom's birthday today as an official kickoff of Marie Needs To Get Her Butt In Gear. Yes, I've made a lot of improvements over the last year and a half...but I know I can still kick it up a few more notches. (Eat your heart out, Emeril!) Thanks to my friend Coleen on Twitter yesterday, I came up with exactly what I wanted to call this new phase. It's time to make my mom, and myself, even prouder!

More Victories!!!

Every now and then I like to take stock of positive things that are happening on my journey...they keep me going, and lift me up when I'm having a bad day. Here is my latest list of victories:

1. Even more of my clothes that were too tight now fit, with some room to spare!

2. A few of my friends have mentioned that they can tell I've lost weight.

3. My son can hug me even better now!

4. I have had a few people tell me that I inspire them, which is an honor.

5. On the rare occasion that I feel like something sweet, the smallest bite satisfies me...I no longer feel the need to finish off half of the bag or box, or even have "just a tiny bit more".

Don't forget to make your list of victories...they will keep you going when the scale doesn't budge or you miss a workout and need to get back on track. And on stressful days when you would have normally gone to the fast food drive through or the ice cream stand, it will help realize how important it is to stick to your healthy eating plan!

I Get By With A Little Help From My Friends

There are some days that no matter how positive of a person you are, no matter how hard you try not to venture into the darkness, you still wind up feeling really down. Yesterday was one of those days for me.

15 years ago yesterday, my mom passed away from cancer. Every year when it gets near this anniversary, I tell myself that I'm not going to get into that deep despair. I try to reason that it's been such a long time since she died, and that I can handle it this year. Every year the day comes and I am a mess. I remember holding her hand and talking to her as she slipped away and went to heaven. I think about how upset my dad was that he wasn't in the room when she died...the doctors had expected her to last until the evening, so he ran home to get his insulin that he had forgotten. He got back about 10 minutes after she was gone, and was beside himself. I was the only one with her when she died. One of her nurses, a very sweet nun, told us that there was a reason that it happened that way, but I know my dad still thinks about how he should have been there.

Yesterday was no exception: I was a royal mess. When I posted on my Facebook page about my mom, so many friends were there to help me through the day. Some called me on the phone, and some who live out of state or even in another country messaged me throughout the day and helped me out of my funk. By evening, I was ready to celebrate my mom's life, so I started posting clips of her favorite singer, Tom Jones. The music helped me, and I sang along and thought about my mom. Even more friends helped my celebrate her life, and I am so grateful for all of them.

I also usually wind up pigging out every October 8th. This time, I still wanted to go for a fast food run or gorge on sweets, but I didn't. God's gift of friendship and music helped me get through the day without resorting to a food coma. I am so blessed to have all of my friends, I don't know what I would have done without you yesterday, or any other day for that matter. I love all of you!!! xoxoxo

Motivational Monday!

This week was an awesome week for me in so many ways. The only thing that wasn't so great was that I saw a 1 pound gain this morning on the scale.

There are some positive things about my weigh-in, however...considering that I had so much going on this week and missed my workouts on Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. Besides only getting to exercise for the first half of the week, I had several events where I indulged a little bit. Beer and wings at my husband's high school reunion, pizza at my son's birthday party...then I topped that off with birthday cake. One pound is really not bad with all of that going on! In the past I would have really pigged out and had at least a 3 0r 4 pound gain. I am not sorry at all that I celebrated at these events, now I just have to get back on track. I really wish I had still been able to fit the exercise in, but I am fully back to business this week.

I choose to focus on the positives of this week. Everyone loved the cupcakes I made for school for my son's birthday. It's been a great week for my colleagues and I at Ballroom Dance Channel, and I'm looking forward to some great possibilities. I got to attend the Cleveland DanceSport Challenge on Saturday, which was the first time I got to attend a dance event live. I am so inspired by these dancers of all ages who competed in the Challenge. At the reunion that night, my husband and I reconnected with some of his classmates and I met wonderful new people. I spent time there with good friends I already know well, and I enjoyed talking to the people I didn't know, making new friendships and even learning more about health and wellness. My good friend Kris (who went to school with my husband) and I have come up with a term for this: we are "Classmates-In-Law"! It's amazing how we've connected with each other and with classmates of our spouses and their spouses. I am very blessed to get to know them!

Yesterday was my son's birthday party...starting at the roller skating rink with his friends, and ending with a party at our house for family. I didn't skate, but I will soon! The kids had a blast, and the DJ played a lot of great dance music; I immediately started choreographing Sambas and Cha Chas in my head! I loved having the family together at our house afterward, and playing with my adorable niece and nephew. Thank you so much to my brother Brad and my brother-in-law Jim, who helped us set up some new computer equipment. I'm pretty good with some of the tech stuff, but this was way beyond my knowledge and they are a Godsend.

Now...on to my motivational person(s) of the week. I have chosen Phil and Amy Parham from The Biggest Loser. They live inspirational lives, not only in the health and fitness department, but in the way they live their faith as well. You can find out more about them at http://philandamy.ning.com/. They are really wonderful and amazing people!

This week is going to be a great one...fitness-wise and otherwise. Here's to a healthy and inspiring week!!!

Small Victories Turn Into Big Ones!

Today I decided I would make a list of accomplishments since starting this weight loss journey. I've lost a little over 9 pounds, which is wonderful, but that's not the only thing going on here. It helps to think about all of the good stuff that happens when you switch to a healthy lifestyle, especially when you haven't lost enough for people to really notice what you've accomplished so far.

I can still remember last year about this time, when I had lost 13 pounds and no one said anything, but they noticed that another family member had lost weight...and he had only lost 7 pounds! That day I wound up having a second piece of cake because I felt so discouraged. That is not going to happen this time around. I will think about my list of what I call "small victories", to keep me from losing my mind when strange things like this happen. Here's my list to date:

1. My clothes are a lot looser already

2. Some clothes that were too tight before fit now

3. When in the shower, I can feel that my stomach doesn't stick out as far as it did before

4. The bath towel now goes all the way around my body

5. I feel fuller sooner, with less food

6. I am satisfied with just a small serving of a treat, instead of wanting to eat way too much of it

7. I prefer water over soda now

8. I'm starting to have more energy

9. I can tell my body is getting stronger

10. My husband notices that I've lost weight

11. My son loves that his arms fit all the way around me now

12. I can dance for a lot longer now!

I know I will add to this list as time goes on. I challenge all of you to make a list of your small victories. I know it will help all of us boost our confidence, and before you know it, our small victories will have turned into huge accomplishments!!!

Operation Fat Blaster - This Week's Challenge Part 1

Our challenge this week from Operation Fat Blaster is twofold: First, we are to come up with an acrostic name poem, using qualities we love about ourselves. The second part is to get a poster board and write the poem on it, then find pictures from magazines that depict those qualities. I have the poem done, so here it is:

Multi-talented, love to create
Able to accomplish anything I set my mind to
Radiant and full of passion
Incredibly compassionate
Empowered and loving it

Now I have to get the poster board and find the pictures...I'm a magazine freak so I have plenty of them to look through! The idea is to keep the board somewhere we can constantly look at it, so we remind ourselves of our positives. I can't wait to get the board done so I can show it to you!!!