An Open Letter to Valerie Harper

To all of my blog followers:

I don't usually write in letter format, but felt it necessary in this case.  I hope you find some inspiration in my words to Valerie!


Dear Valerie,

Let me start off by saying that I've been a fan since I was a little girl, loving Rhoda and you as much as my mom did.  We both anticipated Rhoda's big wedding episode, laughing and crying all the way through. Over the years you've always been a class act, and that definitely hasn't changed at all.

When I first heard you had cancer, I cried not only for you but for my mom as well.  She battled breast cancer for 12 years...and in a few days it will be 19 years since God called her home.  I still miss her all the time, and only wish she could have been around to watch Dancing With The Stars.

As you've fought and continue to fight this battle, your positive attitude and determination are an inspiration to me and countless others.  And when you decided to compete on this season of DWTS, I was thrilled for you.  There are some people who didn't understand why you would do the show (or thought you were being exploited) who said idiotic things.  But I get it - and so do a lot of people; there are many more that understand than don't.  For that I am grateful.

We all need to live our lives to the fullest, because we all will be called home someday.  Only God knows when that is for each of us.  He doesn't want us to sit around feeling sorry for ourselves about any challenges we face.  He wants us to LIVE while we are here!

My mom LOVED to dance.  She went dancing six nights a week when she was young, up until the time she married my dad.  They both still danced occasionally, but over time working and raising a family gave them less time for it, and often they only time they got the chance was at a family wedding.  Waltzes, polkas, jitterbug...my mom loved them all.  I also love dance, but never really had much time for it either.  So many things wind up taking time away from doing the things we truly want to do.

Every week on DWTS, I get to see you perform - not just learning and trying to remember all of the steps, but dancing for the PURE JOY of DANCING.  Not letting obstacles keep you from experiencing the joys of life.  Showing the world the wonderful woman you are, and teaching others how to live and enjoy each and every day.

I'm also glad you got the perfect partner for you.  Tristan is also a class act...a caring, compassionate person who can teach you the dances while helping you find the right balance so you can be your best while not injuring your knees further.  I'm as much in awe of you as he is, and watching the two of you interact brings every emotion to the surface.  It's truly a pleasure to witness your partnership - God put you together for a reason. 

Even though I am by nature normally a positive person, there are times I get a little down on myself...thinking that I should have things a lot more together than I do.  That I should be further ahead in my writing career and journey back to fitness, even though I am making progress with both.  Being impatient with my financial situation - even though that is also improving.

But then I think about you.  I'm sure you have your moments because you are human, but overall you stay positive.  You pick yourself up after a setback (like your knee) and press on.  You remember to find the joy in each day, no matter what.  You never stay down - you get up and get stronger.

Ever since I wrote for the former Ballroom Dance Channel website, my urge has only grown stronger to learn ballroom dancing...as much as I can.  My budget does not currently allow for lessons, but I'm staying positive that this will change soon.  In the meantime, I use videos, YouTube, etc., to learn what I can.  I NEED to dance.  Not just to learn the steps, but to experience the pure joy like you do.  To live out my passions.

So as you continue on your DWTS journey, know that I am extremely proud of you and honored to witness your experience.  I also know that my mom is smiling down on you, happy that you've found your way back to dancing again.  I pray that you have many more weeks, months, and years of dancing ahead of you - and thank you for sharing your heart and soul with us!

Love and Best Wishes,

Marie

Inspiration - Courtesy of Kellie Pickler

Inspiration comes in many forms - people, music, dance, writing, and more.

For me, it arrived as all of the above...in the form of a sweet, hard-working, determined Southern lady who faced her fears and insecurities on Dancing With The Stars.

If you've followed Kellie from her early days on American Idol, you already know that she's a sweetheart.  You also know that she didn't have the best childhood growing up - not even close.

Her mother abandoned her.  Her dad was in jail.  Her grandparents raised her, but her grandmother passed away from cancer when Kellie was 15 years old.  She lived in a beautiful small town, but her family did not have much money.

But Kellie persevered, even with all of those possible obstacles.  She rose above the challenges and went for her dreams.  She didn't let the things that life threw at her stop her.

I was reminded of Kellie's heart and determination as she took on Dancing With The Stars this season.  She always has a joke, word of encouragement, and ready smile for everyone watching.  She worked many long hours to learn and perfect all of the dances, including Derek's amazing but challenging choreography.

By the time the finals came around, Kellie also let us see her vulnerable side - the part of her that still felt the pain from her past but wanted to overcome it all.  And I could relate.

I've always been the one who encourages others, finds the humor in a situation, and smiles to get through my challenges.  But I still have a vulnerable side.  I'm learning to show that side a little more often - some people can't handle that I'm not "perfect"  (whatever perfect is supposed to be!) and decide that I'm only good enough for them when I help them.  That's OK...not everyone you meet is supposed to stay in your life forever.  Sometimes they are there just for you to learn a lesson.

Thankfully, there are still plenty of people who understand that we are all human and have issues and challenges to face - that we don't have to be "on" all the time.  That love and friendship is a two-way street and we should support each other through the good AND the bad.

I cried as Kellie and Derek performed their Freestyle.  I could see that she was being very real with all of us.  She let us all the way into her world, and we love her for it.  This is why she is a true champion!

Thank you Kellie, for sharing your heart and soul on the dance floor along with the proper technique.  You taught me (and countless others) that it's OK - no, VITAL - to be yourself  and share who God created you to be. And that hard work and prayer will get you far, no matter what life throws at you.

I'd love to be in the physical shape that Kellie is in...and I'm working on it.  But it's also important to work on that inside beauty, which she has in spades.  This is one lesson I will carry with me every day!

Biggest Loser 14 - Finale Thoughts!

It was a shorter season than usual...but packed with much more inspiration than the last one.

Last night, Biggest Loser's Season 14 contestants had their big finale, showing off amazing transformations and astounding numbers on the scale.  And determining the winners came down to the last second and tight margins.

I was going back and forth between this finale and the Dancing With The Stars season premiere, so I didn't live tweet or blog last night for fear of missing anything important.  Now I can collect my thoughts on BL and look back at a wonderful night that capped off an even more wonderful season.

What made this finale extra special was having the teen ambassadors ot only come out all dressed up, but also fulfilling some of their dreams on the stage.  Lindsay performed with the cheerleading squad...and was the top of the pyramid! Sunny looked amazing and she is taking her role as ambassador seriously.  And Biingo was surprised on stage by the coach letting him know he made the baseball team.  We need kid ambassadors every year!

Looking back on everyone's journeys was inspiring, and as all of the at-home contestants weighed in, the leader kept changing.  How awesome is it that Gina was the last one standing for the $100,000 prize?  She really was a big threat in the game!  I've heard some people say they wished someone else had won, while others see what I see in her and realize that reality shows are edited...meaning you might get to see mostly good moments from someone and hardly any bad, and vise versa.  What you see on TV might not be the only side to each person!

Jackson won America's vote into the Final Three, which is exactly what I thought would happen.  He, Jeff, and Danni all got on the scale for the grand prize, and all of them really did an amazing job.  Danni wound up winning - beating Jeff by one pound!  I would have been happy with any of the three winning, as they all were worthy of the title.  But I'm so proud of Danni!

Hopefully we won't have to wait quite so long for another season, but if Biggest Loser can get another set of people on the show like this group - it would be worth waiting for!

Now...let's all get moving and work on our own transformations!!!

This Is Dedicated to the One I Love - My Mom!

This time of the year is always tough for me.  From October 8th through the 12th, I think about the events of 18 years ago and how much I miss my mom.

Yes, I miss her often all year long, as there are so many things that remind me of her.  Autumn, as it was her favorite time of year complete with her favorite colors - orange and gold.  Christmas, when I pull out all of the ornaments that she made and proudly hang them on my tree.  Back-to-school time, when she confessed that unlike many other parents, she was sad to see school start because she enjoyed being able to spend so much time over the summer with me.

Whenever I do something creative, I think about all of her great ideas and the many crafts she taught me.  Watching Dancing With The Stars, I remember what a wonderful dancer she was and wish she was here to watch the show with me, because I know she would have been just as passionate about it as I am. And of course, I still watch Days of Our Lives, which premiered when my mom was expecting me.  Her favorite was Marlena (Deidre Hall), and whenever she appears on screen now I smile and think of Mom.  There are just so many ways that she pops into my head...and though some of those moments are still painful I'm glad they happen, because it shows that she's always here with me in spirit.

On October 8th, 1994, my mom died of cancer.  And October 11th is her birthday - she passed away three days before she would have turned 61.  My dad said he refused to bury her on her birthday, and I absolutely agreed.  Her funeral was on the 12th. 

So during this period of time every year, I wind up going back to that particular year and remembering.  Over time I've tried to think positive thoughts...sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't.  And that's OK.  I am human and I'm going to miss my mom. 

I usually wind up eating stuff out of sadness...lots of sweets, foods Mom loved like fish and hushpuppies from Long John Silver's, and other comfort foods.  Definitely not good for my health and fitness.  So this year I tried to handle things a little differently.

While I still thought about her and missed her, I didn't eat a bunch of fattening foods.  Instead, I played some of her favorite music (Tom Jones, Engelbert Humperdinck, Mario Lanza) and thought happy thoughts.  And yesterday, for her birthday, I went to spin class and dedicated my ride to her.  It was the best ride I've ever had - and there have been some really great ones before.  I pushed harder - for her.

I know that Mom is looking down at me and feeling proud that I did something constructive to celebrate her birthday.  She wouldn't want me to jeopardize my own health just because she's no longer here on earth.

So here's to you, Mom.  You've always been proud of me, but I will do all that is in my power, with God's help, to make you even prouder.  I love you always!

Extreme Makeover Weight Loss Edition - Nyla Salsas Through Stress to a New Attitude

Boy, did Nyla ever have a rough year for her transformation. 

Luckily for her, she had Chris there to help...he gave her space when she needed it, pushed her as much as he could, and was there for her no matter what.  He even located her father, whom she had never met.

Chris himself even said that this was one of his toughest transformations, because it seemed to be taking Nyla such a long time to "get it".  She had so many mental and emotional blocks to break through that she still cheated with her food choices and didn't always work out to the best of her ability.  She let finanacial and other stress get to her on a regular basis.  Her fears and low self-confidence got her in trouble many times.  She even almost quit more than once.  But she finally decided that working through all of her issues was better than staying stuck where she was, and that staying in her comfort zone was getting her nowhere.

The biggest breakthough came when Chris got the information about Nyla's father.  Unfortunately he had committed suicide in 2010, but she was able to meet all of her aunts, uncles, and cousins - who all embraced her and told her how much her dad wished he'd had his act together so he could be there for his daughters.  This revelation made her feel less abandoned, because she realized he really loved her even though he wasn't present for her.  She also gained support from an entire set of relatives who were so happy to finally be in her life.

It does sometimes take some of us longer than others to "get it".  We are all unique individuals, so we are not all on the exact same timetable in our lives.  God has a plan for each of us, and He will get us there in His perfect timing.  And that timing may be different for me than you, or for you than your best friend, etc.  We all have issues and stresses in our lives that we have to deal with, and we will not all deal with them in the same way.  (And I can certainly say that from experience!)

Now, of course my favorite part of this episode was Nyla's salsa lesson with Tony Dovolani from Dancing With The Stars.  I couldn't help but smile throughout the whole thing for her. I know all about having a passion for dancing. (and, for me, writing about it!)  Nyla's come a long way from the girl who couldn't even open a dance DVD at home to work out...now she even teaches dance fitness classes!

Nyla still did an amazing job in a year's time...from 435 down to 278 is quite an accomplishment and she should be very proud.  And as she said - this is not just a year long journey, it's a LIFE JOURNEY.  There will be ups and downs, but as long as we always keep going and never give up we will get to where we are supposed to be.  Just keep moving forward!!!

I'm Dreaming of a Fit Christmas - Healthy Stocking Stuffers

Doing this Christmas Challenge got me thinking. And dreaming...of a fit Christmas.

Those of you who know me from the Bitter Orange & Brown blog already know how much I love to go all Weird Al and change up song lyrics to suit my purpose. (Don't worry though - I won't be sporting any creepy Al hair - or mustache - anytime soon.) Today that means taking White Christmas to another level. With apologies to Irving Berlin and Bing Crosby, who will hopefully not be rolling over in their graves after this, here's "I'm Dreaming of a Fit Christmas":

I'm dreaming of a fit Christmas
Unlike the ones I used to know
Want my belts to buckle
And the chance to chuckle
'Bout the way my season used to go

I'm dreaming of a fit Christmas
With every cookie I don't bite
May your days be merry and light
And may you keep the eggnog out of sight.


Dreaming of this fit Christmas also had me pondering my Christmas stocking. Every year my family and I have ours filled with plenty of chocolate and a couple of small gifts. All except for the holiday before my husband and I got married. I collected fast food ketchup packets for weeks and filled a stocking entirely with ketchup for him. But I digress.

I want some healthier goodies in my sock this year. A couple of small chocolate treats would be fine, but not enough to put me into sugar overload for the new year. So I've come up with the perfect stocking stuffers for your favorite fitness enthusiast (or me, if you place a cheery stocking on my porch...ha ha) so they can start 2012 off right:

1. Protein/Energy Bars These will give them the energy they need without the crash all of that sugar would bring.

2. Gift Cards for Trader Joe's or Whole Foods Eating healthy can get expensive on a tight budget, so your friend or family member would REALLY appreciate these!

3. Gift Certificates for Exercise Classes These costs also add up over time. Give the gift of spin, yoga, Pilates, or Zumba classes...or any other activity your loved one enjoys.

4. Non-slip Hair Bands It's a pain for women to have hair falling in their faces while working out, which I know from experience. Even when you pull it into a ponytail, shorter hairs fall or stick out unless you keep them in place with one of these bands. There are more expensive versions out there, but Goody makes some that work just as well...they come 3 or 4 to a pack for about 5 bucks and can be found in most grocery/drug stores.

5. Fitness DVDs When you can't make it to the gym or a class, DVDs are a lifesaver. My favorites are Bob Harper and Jillian Michaels workouts, along with the Dancing With The Stars series. You don't need a partner to learn the cardio/ballroom moves, and it's so much fun you almost forget you're working out.

6. Resistance Bands These roll up well enough to fit into a stocking, and are useful for stretching and toning when away from home or in a hurry.

7. ToeSox These socks are a necessity for Pilates. They keep you from slipping while you perform moves in various positions, but your toes are still able to function. They come in a toeless version, plus a full sock with separate, individual toe room. You can order ToeSox on their website, or go to a local Pilates studio since most of them keep socks on hand (or foot) to sell.

8. The Good Old-Fashioned Orange This is a tradition that goes way back, and it's always a healthy treat. Just don't get those "chocolate oranges" ...they're not all that great and defeat the purpose. Get the real thing!


This should help you shop for the people in your life who want to get or stay fit. Or you can pass this list on to your own family to shop for you. I hope all of your stockings are filled to the brim with healthy gifts!

National Dance Day Playlist

Welcome to the 2nd annual National Dance Day! As part of today's celebration, I am posting some of my favorite songs about dance to get all of us motivated. (Of course, I'm ALWAYS motivated to dance!!!) Put on some of these tunes...then get up and move!!!

"You Should Be Dancing" - Bee Gees

"Just Dance" - Lady Gaga

"I Hope You Dance" - Lee Ann Womack

"Gonna Make You Sweat (Everybody Dance Now)" - C & C Music Factory

"On The Floor" - Jennifer Lopez/Pitbull

"Dancing on the Ceiling" - Lionel Richie

"Ballroom Blitz" - Sweet

"Boogie Wonderland" - Earth, Wind & Fire

"Flashdance (What a Feeling)" - Irene Cara

"Last Dance" - Donna Summer

"Dancing Queen" - ABBA

"All She Wants to Do is Dance" - Don Henley

"Dance the Night Away" - Van Halen

"You Make Me Feel Like Dancin'" - Leo Sayer

"Let's Face the Music and Dance" - Nat King Cole

"I Wanna Dance With Somebody" - Whitney Houston

"Till The World Ends" - Britney Spears

"Please Don't Stop the Music" - Rihanna

Even if you just turn on the radio and dance around the room, start dancing. It's such a fun form of cardio, you won't even feel like you're exercising...but you are! Happy National Dance Day!!!

New Twist on the Drinking Game

I'm sure many of you know all about the Drinking Game. You pick a certain word or phrase that is said often during the course of a TV show, and every time someone says it you take a drink. Of course, it is implied that your drink is alcoholic.

I've come up with a new twist on this game. Since a lot of us have trouble remembering to drink enough water each day, this could be a great way to get that H2O into our bodies.

For example, on Monday night during Dancing With The Stars, every time someone said the words "Quickstep" or "Jive" I took a drink of water. Since those were the two featured dances for the week, those words was used continuously and I got to drink plenty of water.

On Tuesday night during Biggest Loser I did the same thing with different words. Every time someone said the words "trainer", "challenge", or "game play", I drank some water. Once again, I quenched my thirst quite a bit.

This is really a fun way to get enough H2O every day. Try it...pick your own words to drink to for whatever show you are watching and have that water handy. It's definitely healthier than the original Drinking Game...and you won't have to worry about not being able to drive home, or not feeling well enough to do your workout in the morning!

Running On Leftovers

Wow, it's been a week since I blogged here...spent most of the time baking pies, writing articles, covering the DWTS finale, and getting ready for the big Thanksgiving weekend. On Thanksgiving Day we had dinner at my brother's at 2:30 PM, celebrated my nephew's 2nd birthday, and then moved on to my mother-in-law's for another dinner at 6 PM. I did my best to pace myself at each meal, but of course I still felt a bit too full.

Some of my friends and I went out and tackled Black Friday together (a tradition with us!), so I burned a lot of calories shopping all day. I ordered a salad for lunch, not just because of all of the eating the day before, but knowing that Friday night we had a reunion get together as well. I got home from shopping and immediately headed over to the party. I know I ate a bit too much there, and we did shots together too. After 3 of them I bowed out, knowing I didn't want to feel like crap the next day, and started drinking water to re-hydrate after the alcohol.

I did feel pretty icky the next day, but it had nothing to do with the drinks. It was my allergies...after being around dogs and cats for both turkey dinners and the party my sinuses were shot. (And of course the pets LOVE me...I think they know I'm allergic and they always come over to cuddle up on me.) Add the fact that the lady in red has delivered my monthly gift, and you'll see why the rest of my weekend was not very active. I did enjoy a lot of football at least!

I got on the scale this morning to find a 1.4 pound gain. I can live with that...usually with all of those big meals it would be at least 4 or 5 pounds. With the monthly gift and the alcohol, I actually did pretty well for the week. I certainly had a lot of fun, and now all of the leftovers are gone. Back to running on premium fuel now!!!

How To Rock a Cold

Ever since he was little, my husband and I have taught our son to always share. I think he learned this lesson much too well...he shared his cold and sore throat with me. This is one thing I would have been happy for him to keep to himself!

The sore throat started yesterday, and I've been living on ColdEeze and plenty of fluids ever since. The stuffiness and sinus aches began today. Thankfully I'm not really having body aches, so I'm able to still get a lot done with breaks in between. I'm not working out as hard as I normally would, but still getting a lot of walking in plus some other exercises. (I almost decided to load up on garlic and onions like Tony & Audrina on Dancing With The Stars...but I know the bad breath would keep me from sleeping!) My mom was right about this home remedy though...Vicks VapoRub is amazing stuff, and rubbing it on my sinus areas and my throat gives me some relief and helps me sleep without coughing.

Gargling with salt water also works, and I'm about to make myself some nice hot tea to relax and soothe my throat. Usually I baby myself too much with a cold, but this time I'm getting enough rest without my day coming to a complete stop. I know my healthier habits are helping in this department as well, and I'm going to knock this cold out for good. The mucus family better pack their bags, because their stay at Hotel Marie is over!

Motivational Monday...Back On Track!

The picture above is me with my husband, in 1991 when we had only been dating a couple of months. I keep these old pictures nearby now, to motivate me to get back down to that weight. Back then I used to fluctuate between 122 and 126 pounds, but always stayed within that range.

I worked hard this week, and it showed on the scale. I lost 3 pounds, so I lost all but .2 pounds of what I put on over the holidays. I'm at 193.2 and thrilled to be back on track. At least now I know more about exercise and nutrition, so I can lose the weight the right way. Back when I lost weight the first time, I hardly ate anything, and when I did it wasn't always the healthiest choice. I'm sure my exercise is what kept me going, but now my body doesn't even want to work out unless I fuel it in the right way. Too much sugar or other junk makes me hardly able to move around, or too dizzy to even think about the treadmill or an exercise DVD.

This past week I drank lots of water, NO DIET SODA at all. I ate clean, healthy foods and got back to working out. I worked my way up to my usual treadmill pace throughout the week, since the first couple of days my body was still getting over being sick. It's amazing how much better I feel already!

My motivational person for this week is Marissa Jaret Winokur. You know her from Hairspray on Broadway, Dancing With The Stars, and as the host of the first season of Dance Your Ass Off. She recently attended the Biggest Loser Resort in Utah and learned about nutrition and exercise herself. She has lost quite a bit of weight and looks awesome...and she is very happy that she now knows how to feed her young son better foods. To find out more about Marissa, please go to www.officialmarissajaretwinokur.com.

How did your first full week of 2010 go? Let me know...we are all on this journey together!

Who Is It For You?

We all have at them...some of us have several. I've had some since childhood, and I'm sure many of you have too. I know I've picked up some more along the way, through my teen years all the way until now, and I gain more of them every single day of my life. In my mind, you can never have too many of them.

No, I'm not talking about shoes...although that's a pretty nice dream! My thoughts today are about something that does not come in pairs; each one is unique. These are in fact not inanimate objects...they are people! I'm reflecting on the role models in life who inspire and motivate you to be better in life in some way. Most of us grow up admiring someone, whether they be famous or people we actually know. I must say that God is obviously at the top of my list, and always will be. I also believe He wants us all to be inspirations for each other on this planet, so today I'm focusing us the earthly heroes who make us want to improve ourselves and the quality of our lives.

My role models all inspire me in different ways. I started out at 5 years old not only crushing on David Cassidy, but looking up to him. Because of him, I learned the joy and power of music, and discovered that I loved to write songs. He still inspires me now, because of all of the things he has been through in his life and what a wonderful human being he has become through all of the madness he's experienced. Other singers and musicians have motivated me as well...notably Barbara Mandrell and the members of Alabama, for their songwriting, love of music and words, and their deep faith in God. There are so many who inspire me through music even now...especially Keith Urban, who also fights through his addictions and helps us all with ours because of it.

I have athletes that I admire as well, like Greg Louganis, for his hard work and perseverance no matter what life throws at him. Former Cleveland Indian Jim Thome motivates me with the person he is on and off the field. (I still admire him even though he plays for the White Sox now!) I am so inspired by Brian Boitano, who not only works his butt off every day of his life, but shows the world how he lives out his faith and is a wonderful person to everyone he comes in contact with...no "star trips" here! He is the real deal, and represents the way all celebrities (and non-celebrities) should treat people.

In weight loss and life, I am learning so much from the Biggest Loser trainers and contestants...and now also everyone involved with the show Dance Your A** Off. They show me how to take control of my health, and to not let life pass me by while I'm getting there. So many of the professionals on Dancing With the Stars are inspiring, as many of them have gone through more than you could ever imagine to get where they are today. Just check out Maksim Chmerkovskiy...and see how many injuries and other barriers he has overcome since he was a kid. All of the dancers on DWTS, SYTYCD, and DYAO make me want to dance and improve my life in other ways too.

Finally, I want to mention that so many of my friends and members of my family inspire and motivate me on a daily basis. I would not be where I am without any of you, and I am so thankful for anyone who is or has been in my life, whether I know you "in person" or not. I hope to continue this and inspire as many people as I can. God wants us to learn from others, then show what we've learned to those who need it, so the cycle of inspiration continues.

So now I'm curious, so please share with me...who inspires and motivates you?