Made To Crave Bible Study - Making Peace With My Body

 

 

 

This week in the Made To Crave Bible study, we're discussing how we are not defined by the numbers on the scale - how we should make peace with our bodies, no matter what shape they are in at any given moment in time.

 

Making peace with my body has been an ongoing process...I've gone back and forth between hating the extra pounds and loving myself for who I am no matter what I see on the scale or in the mirror for as long as I can remember. 

 

Growing up, I started to gain weight in 3rd grade.  Before that I was way too skinny because I was sometimes too nervous to eat more than a piece of toast before school.  So as a child/teen I always heard comments about my body, ranging from looking like I was starving to being "disgusting" because I had gained weight.  I don't think I ever heard that I looked good (other than from my parents) until I was out of high school and lost the weight for good, leveling out in a healthy range for my height.  Even then, jealous people would tell me I was still too skinny or notice every time I put on a couple of pounds and warn me about "getting fat again". 

 

Being young and impressionable, I listened way too much to those outside voices.  I'd torture myself over everything, which didn't help in my having a healthy relationship with food.  I'd binge, starve myself, pretend not to care...at one point I even used laxatives to keep my weight in check. Thankfully an angel voice inside of me got me to stop this destruction after about five months.  I gained weight, but at least I wasn't taking Ex-Lax or Correctol and harming myself that way.

 

I've made progress, both in loving my body and losing some of the excess weight.  My thoughts still fluctuate when I hear kids make fun of me and snicker, or get dirty looks from adults who should know better.  But this Bible study is helping me realize that other people don't determine my worth - GOD does.

 

So my challenge for myself - and for you - is to stop the minute we hear something negative about our bodies, whether from ourselves or from others who have no place to judge.  Replace those words and thoughts with thoughts of God.  We are His children - we are always beautiful to Him!

Focus Word for 2014 - Believe

Happy New Year!  It's time once again to reveal my chosen word to focus on for the year, and the word of 2014 is BELIEVE.

Believing is truly something I need to set my mind to, as there are plenty of times when I let fear or discouragement derail my dreams and plans.  As much as I work on staying positive, I still spend too much time wondering just how things are going to get better or thinking about how far I still have to goal to reach my goals-in-progress.

So starting today and all through 2014, I am going to believe.  I BELIEVE God for the promises He has made to me, to give me hope and a future.  If I stay focused on Him instead of worrying about challenges, I will get where I need to go and find the joy I so desperately need in each and every day.  He is making things happen for me, and for my family and friends!

I also BELIEVE in myself...God gave me specific talents, gifts, and abilities, so I'm going to banish the doubt that creeps in at times - the false voice in my head that tries to tell me I'm not good enough or don't have what it takes.  I will be the me that He has created me to be.  I BELIEVE in what God gave me and will use all of it to the best of my ability.  It's time to move forward with confidence!

I wish you and our loved ones a very happy, healthy, and prosperous 2014.  May we all BELIEVE...today and every day of the entire year!

Ugliness at Abercrombie & Fitch

Even Marilyn Monroe, who was admired by men (and women) all over the world, would not have been able to shop at Abercrombie & Fitch.

Why?  Because the clothing company doesn't make clothes for anyone who isn't "thin enough".  They only make clothes for "beautiful" people...and they only hire these "beautiful" people to work in their stores.   At least that's the messed up line of thinking that CEO Mike Jeffries has - only "perfect" people can wear his clothes.  Only the "cool" kids count.

Way to go, Mr. Jeffries.  With this policy, you are promoting anorexia, bulimia, and plastic surgery for teens anxious to fit in - and giving them a reason to turn into despondent adults who think they will never be good enough.

To Mr. Jeffries and his company, you're not cool if you don't fit his version of beautiful.  Women's clothes only go up to a size 10, which could technically be an 8, because the clothes are cut smaller than many other clothing brands.  Girls who want to wear what their super-thin friends are wearing can't...which may cause them to turn to unhealthy practices like bulimia and anorexia.  And what if they apply for a job at A & F and don't get it - because they aren't "beautiful" enough to wait on the customers?  I can only imagine teens trying to "fix the problem" by getting nose jobs, botox, etc.  to fit this ridiculous standard.

Even when I was 20 and reached my goal weight, I would not have been able to wear A & F clothes.  I went a few pounds under that weight in an attempt to fit into certain brands, and not only was it still not enough, but I saw pictures of myself taken at that time and was horrified to see my sunken cheeks and protruding collarbone.  I decided it was better to go back up to my original goal weight and wear what looked good on me, rather than continue to starve and be unhealthy just to wear a certain size or brand of clothing.  I was much happier donning cute outfits that fit me as I was meant to be - without feeling lightheaded or dizzy for lack of nutrition.

The last thing in the world teens need to be told is that they aren't good enough for you, Mr. Jeffries. They are ALL beautiful, no matter what size they wear or makeup they use, or what facial features they possess that YOU don't approve of.  We are ALL created in God's image - and He never makes a mistake.  You aren't really promoting beauty.  You actually promote ugliness, with your bad attitude and closed mind. 

There are so many people who are beautiful both inside and out.  Ironically, with Mr, Jeffries advocating bullying and discrimination, his inside is ugly - and does not even come close to my standard of inner beauty.  Beauty starts on the inside, and he needs to get a makeover!

Don't listen to the lies...discover your own true beauty and the beauty of others!

Biggest Loser 13 - Would You Rather Switch or Fight?

Switch, fight...or both?

You know there can't be one without the other, at least not on Biggest Loser. Trouble is, I'm sick of all the fighting, backstabbing, throwing weigh-ins, and general nastiness this season. Of course everyone was mad at Daphne for switching up Conda and Jeremy, and Daphne was mad at the way she and her brother were treated. And the Black Team decided to sabotage their individual efforts beacuse a couple of people couldn't get along. I don't even want to think about those things anymore.

I'm going to focus on the positive of this switch. Conda and Jeremy learned a very important lesson from their trainers. When things happen that are out of your control or anything changes from the way you normally do it, you need to step up to the plate and do your best. Find a way to make it work for you. We all have challenges and need to remember this.

It so happens this lesson especially pertains to me this week. This past Thursday I started a new job. Since I don't have the flexibility my freelancing used to provide, I have to get used to and work around a new schedule - one that has me rearranging my sleeping, writing, and workouts to fit everything in. Thankfully I can still spin at the same time, and the studio is less than five minutes from work. I had to move Pilates from daytime to evening, and I'm trying to fit my other cardio in. I can't make it to the step classes I started in January, so I have to find what does work for me. Instead of stressing out about this, I'm actively pursuing ways to make it all work.

There are a couple of other good moments on this week's episode. Dolvett found a way to let Kim call her daughter on her birthday. Daphne went home and thrived, getting off some of her medications and moving into a new house. And I would be remiss if I didn't mention my fellow writer Cassandra, who read out of her old journal to Bob just how awful she felt about herself. Bob challenged her to speak to her former self, and she learned how important it is to speak positive and empowering words to yourself...and about yourself.

Those are the things I want to focus on this week - because all of that other drama and negativity makes me very sad. Let's all pull the positives from this week that we can, and hope next week is finally better in some way.

Beginning To Hit My Stride Again!

This past week, something profound happened. Profound and exciting.

Marie's got her groove back. (Sorry, Stella!) Even though over the last few months I've been making progress and getting stronger, this week is the one where I really hit my stride again.

I think part of it has to do with having some type of workout class Monday through Friday. Cardio step at Extreme Pump It Up Fitness on Monday and Wednesday, Pilates on Thursday, spin on Tuesday and Friday...I'm still learning my way in the cardio classes, but making improvements. Pilates felt especially good after having to miss it for two weeks while I had no transportation.

I felt my groove the most during spin. Tuesday was awesome, and having class again on Friday only built on the good feelings. I'm really digging down deep and experiencing the strength and power that is within me. God gives me this strength, and I ask Him for His help before every class. He helps me find what He has placed in me all along and bring it out. When I leave spin class, I'm dripping with sweat, feeling empowered and looking forward to what life has in store.

Tonight I can't make cardio class because of a meeting at my son's school, but I will kick my own butt at home afterward. I am determined to make the most of every single day. Tomorrow I weigh in, so hopefully the number on the scale is as good as the feelings my workouts give me.

But one thing can never have a number placed on it - the confident feeling of strength I have found!

Channeling My "Pisstivity" - Thanks Dolvett!

You've just got to love it when a word clicks with you.

It's even better when this is a recently made up word. I've heard it a couple of times during this past season of Biggest Loser from new trainer Dolvett Quince, but it really hit home with me when the Thanksgiving special re-aired two nights ago. (Probably because someone had raised my pisstivity level...Ha ha)

"Pisstivity" is listed in the Urban Dictionary pertaining to the degree or level at which you are ticked off at someone or something. While I like that definition, I prefer to think of it another way.

To me, pisstivity is a state of being, in which you channel any frustration, anger, or other trying emotions into doing something positive. You don't sit around just being mad or letting things get to you. You do something constructive with your feelings and turn them into a blessing.

In Dolvett's case, he has his contestants and clients work out their pisstivity in the gym. I have discovered that this really does work. The first spin class after being in my recent upsetting situation was the best ride I'd ever had. Every workout since has gone to another level. I channel what was said to me about how I'd never reach my goals (in fitness AND in life) into extra motivation and pushing myself even harder. And I feel so much better afterward...in both body and spirit!

There are also other ways to channel your pisstivity. If someone tells you that you won't get anywhere with your chosen career, find ways to work harder or smarter and set better goals for yourself. There's nothing like having somebody tell you that you can't do something to motivate you to prove them wrong. (Of course, that shouldn't be your sole motivation - there are many reasons to work toward your goals!) If you're angry about the economy and you have the resources, do something to help others who are struggling, just like the people who paid off all of those layaway accounts this Christmas for families in a rough financial spot. Even if you can only afford to do a little bit, it still helps. If you feel for people with cancer or other illnesses, help raise money for a cure. Or take some time to read to sick children or do chores for someone who is unable because of illness.

Channel your emotions into doing something good for yourself or others. That's the highest form of pissitivity.

Pissed + Positivity = Pisstivity Thank you Dolvett!!!

Positive Does Not Mean Perfect - Food For Thought

I've had some rough situations happen in the last few days. I admit these things threw me for a loop for a little while...but I will not let them keep me down.

I won't go into great detail about these, because I don't like to complain to everyone or dwell on negative things. I prefer to move forward, pray, and do what I can to help the situation. But I do want to address one of these things because some of you may have the same problem.

I discovered that someone in my life (a supposed friend) expected me to be perfect. I guess I shouldn't have been that surprised. This person constantly complains and feels she is always right. She does have good qualities as well, so I always bit my tongue so as not to upset her. (Not always easy to do.) I always felt that I was walking around on eggshells to save our friendship...even though it caused me extra stress, I really tried.

The other day I gently tried to let her know that she should be thankful for what she does have and count the blessings in her life. It was an attempt to improve her frame of mind. I certainly thought I was being gentle, as I hate confrontation and avoid it if I can help it. Of course, she still took it the wrong way. I received a scathing message from her going into great detail about my many supposed faults (I do have faults, but this stuff was really exaggerating and petty) and how I'm basically an awful person because I don't do everything in my life exactly the way she does. (Wouldn't the world be boring if we all did everything alike? What works for one person may not be right for another.) I was also told that I was a "fake" because I claim to be a positive person yet dared to get a little upset with her. According to her, my positivity meant that I could never have a bad day or else I was fake. (Yet somehow it was OK for her to complain all the time.) And because of all that was "wrong" with me, she was going to have to seriously re-evaluate our friendship.

I now realize that she takes almost everything the wrong way, but at the time it really hurt. I attempted to defend myself, which only led to more bashing from her. I sent off one last message in attempt to clear things up, and apologized if she took what I'd said the wrong way because it was only meant to be helpful. I also let her know that I would not respond anymore if she kept attacking me, because I wasn't going to keep that unhealthy cycle going.

I received yet another message berating me, so I kept my word. I did not respond to her. I deleted all of the messages so I wouldn't have to stress out over it anymore. I also blocked her on social media sites, which is where she was attacking me. I knew it wasn't going to stop, because she can never let anything go. I do know her in real life but don't see her often.

The point of this is - do we expect each of our friends to be perfect? Or do we even expect ourselves to be perfect? We are all human, so none of us are going to be. There is only One who is perfect. And He is always here to help us through our imperfections. Trying to stay positive in this world is essential, or else we'd all lose our minds. Being positive doesn't mean we won't have our human moments or bad days...it means that we will not let the rotten stuff keep us down and we strive to make things better. It means if we fall, we pick ourselves back up instead of wallowing in self-pity. It's just like our fitness efforts: do not beat yourself up for not being perfect....just move on and work harder!

A lot of comtemplation and prayer took place before I wrote this post. I believe God wants me to help others in this type of situation so they know they are loved, should not take abuse from others, and should stand up for themselves if necessary. God always finds a way to send me a message - through a song, quote, or thoughtful post from others. Yesterday was no exception. Just at the moment I was feeling my lowest, I saw one message about pressing on and staying the course while keeping our integrity. Then a little later I saw one that really resonated...about using the irritations from others and in life to polish us and make us better people. I immediately felt better and knew I'd done the right thing.

I pray that my post here helps you in some way as well. God uses all of us to help each other. That means even the people who try discourage you or tear you down. Don't let them get to you or stop you from being who you are meant to be. Even though we're not perfect, picking ourselves up and staying as positive as possible goes a long way.

Learning to Stand Strong

The last couple of weeks have been filled with powerful lessons for me. So powerful, in fact, that I feel 100 times stronger than I did in mid-October.

I've stood up for people (several, in fact) who do the right thing, and in turn I've been bashed. This has been by a small minority...it's just that those few have big mouths (or big keyboards). In the past, I was such a people-pleaser that even if one person disagreed with me it would bother me, and for much longer than I should have let it. I had this thing about people liking me. Now, that's not to say I don't still want people to like me, but I realize not every single person on earth is going to agree with me or want to be my friend. And that's perfectly OK. It doesn't mean I'm a bad person if someone has a different opinion. I just agree to disagree and move on.

I got hit with several instances of this in the past two weeks, and I did have some moments where I overthought it. Of course, I prayed about it. In no uncertain terms, God told me I was doing the right thing and to not let any negativity bother me. I've also learned that working it out in the gym (instead of torturing my mind) feels awesome and makes me stronger in more ways than one. God does not want me to fold like a cheap tent when criticized - He wants me to pull whatever decent advice I can from it, and stand strong in my beliefs.

So with that in mind, I ask that we please all respect each other even if we don't agree. I have no problem if someone doesn't share the same thoughts as I do; the world would sure be boring if we all agreed all the time. I've only had one instance of nastiness happen on this blog, with the others coming in other forms. If you have a differing opinion, think before you say or write it...post something intelligent that makes sense and isn't just attacking me or someone I speak or write about. We all deserve respect.

Also, I do know that no matter how nicely I ask this, there are some people who just can't handle offering their thoughts without telling someone else how stupid they are or attacking. I feel sorry for those people, but I will not let them get to me. I suggest that all of my friends do the same - take eveything said to you with a grain of salt and don't let it break your spirit.

Oh, and if you leave a scathing remark and sign it Anonymous...I get a good laugh because you are too afraid to voice your anger without being real. I delete nasty, negative comments posted this way, because if you can't even put a name to it you don't really deserve a response.

So here's to agreeing and disagreeing - respectfully! :o)

Being The Plus-Sized Friend

Over Labor Day Weekend, we had our annual reunion BBQ with my husband's classmates and their families. Even though I didn't go to school with any of them, we've all become close friends over the years. We all accept each other for who we are and appreciate not only what we have in common but also the differences which make each of us unique. It's amazing what we all learn when we get together!

That being said, there is still one thing that always winds up on my mind, no matter how hard I try to push it away. I am the only plus-sized woman at our get-togethers. Nobody ever makes me feel any different, but it is a fact that I'm the thickest female in the room (or on the patio). I have lost weight, but I'm still a long way from my goal and the contrast presented to me in photos hits me hard.

Besides the photos, other little things remind me that I've still got a lot of work to do. Without exception, each of my female friends made some derrogatory comment about themselves and their own figures. Comments about never fitting into a certain size again, wanting flat stomachs back, and supposedly looking like an expectant mom were the ones that came up most often. I jokingly said that I was going to smack all of them. Every single one of them has an awesome figure...figures that right now are a long way from where I am. I would be extremely happy to have any of their shapes.

Now, I do get where they're coming from. Most women who have had kids still long for the bodies they had in high school, and if they were always used to being a size 4 or 6 and now they're a size up from that they feel different and want to go back to that size. The tummies that carried babies are not the same as they were before, but none of my friends look pregnant or fat in any way, shape or form. I also know that when they say these things they're not directed at me - they are only speaking out loud what their own subconcious minds keep telling them. Even though none of them would ever speak this way about me or each other, they do it to themselves...and it does still affect me even if they don't realize it. Even worse, what they say to themselves affects THEM.

I will say that seeing my friends in great shape does motivate me to kick it up an extra notch for myself. I will conquer my demons. I know I can and will move past the "plus-sized friend" feelings that plague me, but I also want all of my friends to know that they should stop being so tough on themselves, appreciate what they have, and realize they are all beautiful right now...just as they are!

Loving Yourself MEANS Taking Care of Your Health!

I've been thinking about something lately. Actually, I've been thinking about it for quite a long time, but during the last couple of weeks the subject has taken center stage because a well-known size advocate has lost some weight.

Jessica Weiner has lost 25 pounds. For most people this wouldn't be front page news, but because Jess has long been a recognized body image expert who has written books and appeared on television promoting loving yourself at any size, suddenly it is. She has come forward in a national magazine to talk about her health crisis and why she has lost weight. A visit to her doctor showed that the numbers were not good - and this doesn't mean the numbers on the scale. Issues like high blood pressure and high cholesterol were affecting her health and well-being. The doctor suggested that she eat better and exercise...and lose at least a little bit of weight to get those numbers under control. She wanted to come out and explain all of this so people would know that she's doing this for her health... and not pass her on the street thinking that she's doing this just to be thin.

Since this came out, several other body image/size acceptance people have attacked her. They say she is selling out and even have gone so far as to say she is promoting certain weight loss products or companies. The only thing she has promoted is that she is eating whole grains and other healthy foods now, and that she is exercising regularly. It took her six months to lose those 25 pounds, and she still weighs over 200. It's not as if she starved herself skinny and worked out until she dropped. She is losing weight in a healthy and sane manner and not selling anybody anything. All she wants is for people to love themselves AND be healthy. And her blood pressure and cholesterol are starting to get under control now.

I've often been at odds with these two ends of the spectrum...at the one end wanting to love myself at whatever size I am and at the other needing to take better care of myself and get in shape. After a lot of back and forth, I've discovered that the two are not mutually exclusive. We are all amazing and beautiful people no matter what the scale says, and that does not determine our self-worth. Nobody should be sitting at home not living life because they don't think they look good enough yet. But part of loving ourselves is taking care of ourselves. Eating good foods instead of chemicals and junk, getting exercise on a regular basis and doctor checkups are all essential to being a healthy human being. No matter where the number on the scale ends up, the other numbers on our medical charts must be taken into consideration. It doesn't need to be one extreme or the other!

It's a complete shame that some people think that Jess should just have ignored her health concerns and continued the way she had been because it suited THEM. I'm sure it took a lot for her, after finding herself in this situation, to come forward and explain...knowing she would be scrutinized the whole time. Would these people have been happy if she had done nothing about her health and something had happened to her because of it? They are thinking only of themselves and not her well-being. What they SHOULD be doing is thinking about their own health, realizing that taking care of yourself is not selling out - it's actually a form of self-LOVE.

So remember...this is not all or nothing. Live your life while you start taking care of yourself. You will live a longer and higher quality life if you take care of your health!

My Scale Forgave Me...

If you read my post yesterday, you know that I stood up my scale for our weekly Monday morning date. It wasn't on purpose, but I still felt weird about it all day.

Mr. Scale must have decided to forgive me, because when I apologized this morning and stepped on I discovered that I lost 1 pound for the week. That may not seem like a lot, but last week was rough in so many ways...from school projects to being sick, I did my best all week but it wasn't up to my usual workout standards. I now weigh 210.8. I am more than a number on the scale, but it's good to know that I'm making progress as I watch that number get smaller every week. And it's also a wonderful feeling that even on my roughest days, I do as much as I can instead of just saying forget it and sitting on the couch the whole time.

God made us to overcome our circumstances and difficulties. I'm thankful to Him that this is being revealed to me...a little at a time, just like the weight loss that shows on my scale.

Weathering The Storm

Finally...there's school today! I enjoyed having my son home the past couple of days, but he was starting to get bored and ready to go back. And now I can catch up on work that needs to be done!

Most of the country has been dealing with the big winter storm. Some of you may still be dealing with it. Here in Cleveland we had a little bit (actually, A LOT!) of everything...snow, rain, sleet, freezing rain, ice, more snow. Forget outdoor exercise; thank God for my treadmill and workout DVDs! We made it through and today I'm looking through my office window at the beautiful sunshine over the sparkling snow. The sun was always there...we just couldn't see it for a while.

Inside each of us is our own personal winter storm, which most likely has a little bit (or a lot) of everything...weight issues, addictions, stress, depression, financial problems, fears. Even though we can't see Him, the Son is always there to help us through our storms. It may take a while to get through it and dig out from under, but God is there through it all. We just need to call on Him when we can't see through the blinding snow. We WILL come out on the other side of it stronger and happier...as long as we let Him lead the way.

Hope you are all safe and warm in this winter weather!

Gratitude Is Everything!

I'm sure you've heard the saying, "Attitude is everything". I want to add my own...GRATITUDE is everything.

Gratitude is truly a part of our attitudes, and can help us live better lives. Appreciating what we have makes us happier, and the happier we are the more we will find to be grateful for. It's one of those Catch-22's, but in a good way. This is once cycle that is NOT vicious...and one I actually want to stay in!

My dad got his test results back yesterday. They showed that the growth was cancer, but just superficial. It was non-invasive and they got it all, so he doesn't need any other treatments other than to be checked again in 3 months and regularly after that. Dad told me that he prayed a lot, thanking God for giving him a warning symptom so early on that it was caught before it got any worse. He considers this a wake-up call from Him to take better care of himself. I am also grateful to God for the results. While it would have been nice to hear that it wasn't cancer, for it being cancer this was the best possible scenario and makes me appreciate my dad even more. God works in mysterious ways and for that I praise Him.

I'm also learning ways to relieve stress by being grateful. Sometimes my internet provider runs really slow, and I used to just stew in front of the computer waiting for it to do what it was supposed to. This only stressed me out more. Now I get up and walk away from the computer when this happens...I run up and down the stairs a few times or do some other exercises. I say a prayer of thanks to God for giving me the chance (and reminder) to get up and move instead of just sitting there and letting my muscles get stiff. When I'm having a rough day, more often than not I stop and think about any good things that happened that day to calm myself down. I'm human and still have my moments, but I'm getting so much better at remembering to be thankful for what I have.

I hope you will join me in developing an Attitude of Gratitude. It glorifies God and makes us happier as well. What a wonderful gift to use in this world! Even on the worst of days, there is always something to be grateful for...so give thanks!

Guess What I Found...And Guess What I Lost?

I KNEW I had ordered this before! I've been talking to a couple of friends about Yoga Booty Ballet, and was thinking about purchasing it from them. I put it off until after the holidays, because money is tight...and I could have sworn that I already had it somewhere in my house.

And I do! I decided to brave the "storage" room in the basement...the one where all of the holiday decorations are kept and sometimes things get put when we need to clean up quickly. As it turns out, Yoga Booty Ballet is one of those things that I put in this safe place. It was so "safe" that it was protected from me as well. I went through some boxes and there it was. Now I can start using it, and I'm motivated to clean out the storage room. Who knows what else I've kept "safe" in there!

And as for what I lost: Today was scale day, and I now weigh 213.6. I lost 1.4 pounds this week by turning to God and exercising to relieve stress instead of reaching for the sugar. My body feels a lot better as well. I thank Him everyday for the courage and strength He gives me as I navigate my life journey and work on being healthier in every way.

I am also praising Him for something else...if you've seen my post about Joanne you'll be happy to know she is doing much better now. She still has a long way to go, but she is breathing on her own now and starting to move more. She's made remarkable progress so far, and all glory goes to God. He is working miracles through her and I can't wait to see what other miracles He has in store for His sons and daughters!

Perseverance and Prayer Pay Off!!!

Remember what I said last week about not folding like a cheap lawn chair in 2011? Well, I kept my promise and took my own advice. My dad had to have surgery on Friday morning because a small growth appeared on his bladder and it needed to be removed and tested. Even though I was scared and nervous for him, I kept to my healthy plans and prayed constantly. I refused to collapse in a heap, because that's not what God made me for. He made me to overcome challenges and learn from them.

The surgery went very well...the growth was extremely small and just on the surface, so the doctor didn't have to dig any further; he got it all out. My dad didn't even need a catheter after the procedure, because it was so easy for the doctor to get out and didn't interfere with bathroom issues. My dad was in the recovery room in half an hour. We are still waiting on the lab results, but the doctor said even if it is something bad they got it so early that he may not need anything further, other than being checked regularly to make sure everything is still OK. I praise God that my dad saw blood in his urine...the doctor said that most people don't have any symptoms until the problem is much bigger. That blood, while scary, most likely saved my dad's life. Now it's a waiting game, but I trust God for it all to work out. I also want to thank all of my wonderful friends for all of the prayers and good thoughts. You are all such a blessing to me and I am forever grateful to have you in my life.

Since today is Monday, it was time for the scale once again. Prayer and resolve paid off once again, as I now weigh 215.0, losing one pound for the week. This is the kind of situation where I normally would have gained weight from sitting and worrying, but since I gave my worries to God and used His strength to stay on track I saw good results. A one pound loss is quite a victory this week...and I plan on many more victories to come!

Repeat After Me: I Will NOT...

I've been wanting to post a current picture of myself for the start of my 2011 leg of the journey. Now I have one. This photo shows four of the five Bitter Chicks who write the Browns blog Bitter Orange and Brown. Kris moved to DC, so she was not able to join us. From left to right are Paige, Alanna, Kristen, and myself. Since this was taken at our Bitter Chocolate party on January 2nd to celebrate the last game of the season, this is the perfect shot for my "Before" picture.

I have certainly already gotten my butt in gear so far this year, but there are still challenges. A couple of new challenges have presented themselves within the last few days, plus there are still the ones that were already there. I know 2011 is going to be a better year, and while I was thinking about it yesterday I suddenly found myself blurting out, "I will NOT fold like a cheap lawn chair in 2011!"

You see, those really cheap lawn chairs are made with crappy materials, so the minute you put any pressure on them they close up and collapse. No matter what the weight is of the person or item that is put upon the chair, it can't handle it. There is no strength there.

I am much stronger than that. God doesn't make anything crappy, so I know He created me to be a sturdy and well made "lawn chair" that can withstand any pressure that is placed upon it. He holds me steady as I turn to Him. As God's daughter, I have Him to help me not only survive but thrive. The same goes for you. Repeat after me... "I will NOT fold like a cheap lawn chair in 2011!"

First Week of 2011...Success!

Ahh...the first weigh-in of the new year. It's always a mix of emotions...excitement, nerves, hope...all come into play as I step on the scale. Knowing that I did my best this week always helps, but of course I want to see progress in the form of a lower number.

Thankfully I saw the lower number that I wanted. I weigh 216.0, for a loss of 2.2 pounds this week. I'm very happy with that. I don't have several hours a day to work out, but I make sure that I exercise as much as possible. I had a very small slice of cake at my niece's birthday party on Saturday, but otherwise ate healthy foods. The only day I missed a workout was yesterday, dealing with the cat allergies from the weekend. My niece's cat, who hates almost everyone, decided to plop herself in my lap, lay down and nudge her head against me. It's funny how the kitties always snuggle up to the people who are allergic to them first! After some Benedryl and good old Vicks rubbed on my head, I'm feeling much better.

I have to add here...I did not take my 8zone on Saturday or Sunday. I started feeling really weird and shaky. My stomach was upset as well. The way I felt points to an allergy to an ingredient in one of the supplements, which has happened before with other products. Because 8 zone lists all of the ingredients on the website, I had checked to make sure nothing I was allergic to was in them before agreeing to start. So, there must be something in them that I didn't know would bother me. The supplements may still work for some of you, but for me they're not going to be an option.

I also learned something new this weekend. One of my cousins has been sick for over a month with an intestinal infection. He was not able to eat much for quite a while and dropped a lot of weight. (He was already thin so his weight loss was not a good thing.) When I saw him at the birthday party he looked MUCH better. He told me that he discovered that when he cut all of the artifical sweeteners out of his diet that he immediately began to feel better. When he tried them again he felt sick, so he is off of them now completely. I was listening to this as I sipped my diet soda...and could not finish drinking it. I switched to water, then had coffee with dessert. I've been cutting back on the diet drinks but still had one once in a while. Now I see that I need to totally cut them out, and other foods that have artificial sweeteners. I'm going to explore this subject more to see the connection, and I will keep you posted on my findings.

Even without the 8zone I'm on the right track for 2011...and there's no stopping me now. I thank God for the lessons He is teaching me along the way, and since he has my back I know I can accomplish anything!

Faith & Progress

I am now on Day 4 of 8zone...and so far so good! Every morning I take the Redzone that I mentioned on Monday, and in the early evening I take the Whitezone which helps with nutritional replenishment, revitalization, anti-aging, and immunity strength. Both of these formulas are already making me feel better, and I have more energy to complete my workouts. I take the Bluezone an hour before I go to bed...this assists with better sleep, muscle recovery, and antioxidant protection. I have definitely been sleeping better since I started on Monday, and I don't wake up feeling like I still need more sleep.

My faith is becoming stronger through this experience as well, along with many things that are happening in my life. I am attacking as God says, and I am starting to see the victories that are on their way. He is showing me smaller victories as I keep attacking toward a better life, both physically and mentally. I also truly trust in Him that more are on the way, as long as I keep working toward what He wants for me and the people in my life. The one thing He doesn't want me to do is give up...and I definitely won't. I am on the right path and it feels amazing!

Happy New Year...and Welcome to My 8zone Venture!

Happy New Year everyone! I told you I had exciting news for the new year, and now I can share it with you. I have been chosen to participate in something really cool with 8zone. This company was created by Olympic Gold Medalist Apolo Anton Ohno to assist in maximum performance and he is sharing it with all of us. Many people have already seen results in weight loss, increased energy, and strengthened immune systems. Since I qualify for help in all of those departments, 8zone is giving me the supplements below cost...in exchange, I am blogging about my 8zone experience for all of you. My 8zone representative, Will, is with me every step of the way to answer any questions I have and will be checking in with me often as I go.

Since I did enjoy my holiday weekend a little too much, I gained a couple of pounds. My official starting weight for 8zone is 218.2. There are three supplements to take throughout the day, and so far I have taken the Redzone at breakfast. Redzone is for focus, stable energy, strength, clarity, and weight loss. In the early evening I will take the Whitezone, and Bluezone is to be taken an hour before bedtime.

I started off with stretches this morning and am working more exercise into my day. 8zone still requires you to eat right and work out, which only makes sense...it is developed by an Olympian! The Browns press conference will be on TV in a few minutes (bye bye Eric Mangini) and I will be doing leg lifts, sit ups, etc. during the conference. This evening will be my treadmill workout with my new running shoes.

I will be keeping all of you posted on my 8zone experience and blogging even more than before. Here's to 2011...Zero Regrets!!!

Weighing In on a Wintery Monday!

Now the weather outside is REALLY frightful. Plenty of blowing and drifting snow, wind chills below zero...Jack Frost is nipping at more than just my nose! My son does not have school today, and I wouldn't be surprised if they close for tomorrow as well. We're supposed to get more of the same all the way through Wednesday.

Inside of my nice warm house, I stepped on the scale this morning to find a 1 pound loss. Although I would have liked to see more gone than that, I'm pretty happy with it. Last week was my son's choir and band concert, and then we found out my cousin John passed away and had his memorial service a couple of days later. I fit in my exercise anywhere I could, even if it was in smaller amounts. I managed not to eat my sorrow about my cousin...instead being motivated to get myself in better shape due to his medical problems.

We're not quite halfway through December and I'm right on pace...almost halfway to my goal for the month. I will step it up this week even more. If you are a regular reader of my blog, you know how I want to get back into skiing shape. My article was recently published about other sports and exercises that will help you with your skiing, which you can read at http://www.suite101.com/content/perfect-workouts-to-keep-you-in-skiing-shape-a316887. I am incorporating some of these into my workouts to strengthen up for the slopes.

Though my workouts are indoors for the next few days, they will be intense. Here's to a fit week...and please stay warm!